Friday, July 11, 2008

eastcoastlife Supports the Weak and Downtrodden - Photohunt

Theme : Support
When my poor cousin's husband had a mistress, she was too ashamed to tell any one, including her own family. She felt she was to blame and deserve it. She carried the burden by herself. Her 2 daughters were very young then. She was depressed and often cried to herself.

I was shocked when the husband told me the affair had been going on for 11 years!! It started even before he married my cousin. Why did he marry my cousin then? Her family was against the marriage because he was illiterate and penniless. My cousin was beautiful, educated and had many suitors. But my cousin had eyes only for him, she gave him her savings to start his business. (I heard his mistress chipped in too.)

I had to do what I could. I gave my cousin my utmost support. The breaking up of the adulterous couple was very dramatic. I went down to the company and created such a scene that the whole neighbourhood knew about them. That is one great story I would love to tell! ;)

Being typical Chinese, our family clan has close support and relationship. The matriarch of the family, my grandmother (she was a resilient and strong woman too), was surprised but pleased with the way I handled this.... that I was made her successor after she passed away. The shameful case was never brought up again within the clan.

The man was taught a very painful lesson (Trust me when I tell you it is a very painful one for him. hehe....). Nobody can bully my family members. Whenever he sees me at our family functions, he can never lift his head to look me in the eyes. No, he isn't allowed to skip our family gatherings. haha......


Can you feel the message of such posts are going to lead to something EXPLOSIVE!?!








105 comments:

  1. good for you, ecl! am not so sure if i would have been as brave! your cousin's lucky to have you as one of her family member! :)

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  2. maiylah,
    Thanks. hehe....

    Too bad many people are just bystanders when they see injustice and bullying.

    The worse is when some even join in to support the bullies or add to the boldness of the tyrants.

    Don't feed the monsters - eliminate them.

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  3. u most certainly showed him, well done.

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  4. hip hip hurray for ecl!! man sui man sui man man sui!!! heeee...

    *poor jaymes... haha*

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  5. My rainbow angel,
    Jaymes is just posing for a picture.... the poor man got a worst punishment.

    I might go to retrieve the photos from my safe deposit box later. hehe....

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  6. Man who cheats does not deserve my pity, even he's been 'taught a very painful lesson'... (wonder what does that REALLY mean, but I could almost feel it with the way u smirked "hehe...")

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  7. horsoon,
    Oh gosh... I smirked!? I shouldn't! *horrors*
    hehe......

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  8. cold sweat
    I sure wouldn't want to be in his shoe

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  9. in reply to your BBB:

    He wasn't worth it
    ^-^

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  10. yenjai,
    haha... you are a good husband and father.

    I would never think of you doing that. But if you do, I have to execute my duty.

    Yep... he's not worth it. :)

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  11. I really hate to hear story of someone actually loving someone but had no choice but to marry someone else. Like those stupid soapy Taiwanese drama. Why the hell he married your cousin when he is actually in love with someone else before your cousin? I had the same experience. I found out that my ex-husband was still in love with his ex and divorced him even though we already have 2 children. I cannot take this kind of shit. Cheating with a new woman is forgiveable but cheating with an ex is totally out of the question! visit my blog at www.simplylife-white.blogspot.com
    if you have time!

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  12. You are great!!

    I am trying to be resilient and strong man also ^^

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  13. Ha ha ha...you are really wonder woman. Hi 5 ECL, I SUPPORT YOU!!!!!

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  14. Hi waitingkitty,

    That man is greedy. I presume he wanted the best of both worlds, the girls were supporting him in his business venture.

    Later, his mistress was helping him in his business while his wife was taking care of his kids, elderly parents and housekeeping. Very good arrangement.

    I applaud your courage but not many women can do what you did.

    We are afterall an Asian society and there are our Asian values to preserve.

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  15. ah hong,
    Thank you. I'm sure you will grow up to be a resilient and strong man. hahaha....

    加油!

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  16. immomsdaughter,
    Hi 5! Thank you very much!!! :)

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  17. I can't stop laughing looking at Jaymes's photo! Hahahaha

    I think you are the role model in your family and every family member look up to you.

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  18. sometimes speaking up against injustice when nothing much is done after that brings more frustration. I'm rambling. haha.

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  19. ECL, that is mighty brave of you to do. I don't know if I would be able to do that. I also learned about a married cousin's infidelity and she even bore a child and everyone is talking about her. Shame. We knew about this but we didn't tell her mother, we felt we might be wrong and that would not be good. Turned our we were right.

    Sigh.

    Have a great weekend. My post will be up Saturday.

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  20. Doreen,
    Jaymes said you are supposed to feel pity for him, not laugh!! haha...

    Role model or not, I hold the parang (chopper)... they dare to not look up to me!?! hahaha....

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  21. Infidelity is a terrible act that ruins the lives of many people. It's really sad but it happens to so many people.

    I admire how you stood up for your cousin. Family should really look after one another.

    Amusing choice of photo. Funny shot. I voted for you and Jaymes again. You have my support.

    I already signed your Mr. Linky but haven't posted mine yet. I'll post it some time tonight.

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  22. sho,
    I know that feeling and I'm still experiencing it. But such negativity doesn't keep me from trying my best to seek for redress.

    The more I hit a wall, the more I want to crash through it! That is how stubborn I am. :)

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  23. Julie,
    It is very hard to tell someone he/she is wrong. We worry about their feelings and how they would feel about us.

    For me, I just want to lessen the pain for the victim or sufferer. As observers we do get a clearer picture from standing afar than the people directly involved, and we might be in a better position to advise.

    It's hard to judge some one when we ourselves are not perfect. But playing such a leadership role make me more conscious of my behaviour, actions and conduct.

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  24. heart of rachel,
    Thanks so much for your support! God bless.

    sigh... It's a different world out there these days. Marriage is not considered sacred any more. Marriage vows are useless.

    We cannot choose who is to be in our family. Family members are fated to be together and we have to look after one another. :)

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  25. Your cousin is lucky to have you stood up for her. Sigh.. love is truly blind!

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  26. etceteramommy,
    I think right now there is no more love..... only responsibility.

    How sad.

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  27. That's a good thing you did for your cousin. She's really lucky to have your support and helped her out of her misery. Well done!
    Always great to see someone who can stand her own ground and protect the weak.

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  28. Hi cc!
    Thanks for stopping by. :)

    That's my cousin, even if she's a stranger, it's not right for me to ignore her situation if I could help.

    This World not only needs more people with compassion and love.... it needs people to stand out and speak up against injustice.

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  29. Maybe Jaymes need more support....it can be awfully challenging to stand like that. *winks*

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  30. Good for you -- my sister's going through the same thing -- married for 25 years, found out her husband's cheating on her with someone in the office. I so want to go to the job and do the same as you did, just don't know if I have the nerve. Hats off to you -- it is very painful for all family members when things like these happen.

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  31. 11 years.........sheesh! *speechless*
    But seeing ur example of punishment, that should scare Cristopher off pretty well :P
    Need gurney bag to hide corpse,let me know hor *lol*

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  32. infidelity is so commom now. haiya... so sad
    why cant ppl be faithful???
    and somemore marry someone else when u in love with another one! terrible!!

    waitingkitty,
    not everyone can be like . u r really brave!!
    but u really mean it when u say : Cheating with a new woman is forgiveable???

    ECL, u too, really great for standing up for the victim.

    man cheat on wife is really bad. what abt man cheating on fiance or girlfriend??

    ReplyDelete
  33. Aiyo!! Make me angry only la reading abt this!! I would have done the same thing too, teach the fella a lesson! For that, I will support you and Jaymes tonight he he!! :)

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  34. Wait ... I have read this post a few things and still unsure about something ... So is the couple still together?!

    Anyway, about that photo, erm, I would propose to put durians on the floor instead. It would be so much more explosive, don't you think? :)

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  35. Wah! Better don't cross you or your family members like that eh...

    Have a wonderful weekend ok!! Relazz.. take a deep breath!! hehhe

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  36. Good take on the theme ECL. That would have made me very angry too. I can't stand dishonesty and it sounds like your cousin's husband was incredibly dishonest and dishonorable. I know it meant a lot to your cousin to have your support.

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  37. family support is always important in all situations. my family too is closely knitted and it's really nice to see how we support each other when one is down :D

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  38. Great idea for today's theme... Happy weekend! Hope you'll visit mine too.

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  39. Perfect choice for today's theme. Mine's up too hope you can drop by. Happy weekend!

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  40. Bravo ecl! It's always nice to have support from family members. :)

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  41. I came back to let you know mine is up. Have a nice weekend!

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  42. Good for you ECL. It sounds like he married your cousin for her money. How sad for her.
    You are a very young matriarch but I'm sure your family can count on your for support.
    Have a good weekend.

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  43. hmm.. the photo is funny, but the story, woah...serious...

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  44. oceanskies,
    hahaha.... Jaymes definitely needs support!

    Can my readers support him in his Best Youth Blog award!?

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  45. I don't think he'll mess up again, that's for sure! :D

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  46. nanjodogz,
    It's important that you and family members are there to support your sister. Gather everyone and give your brother-in-law pressure, make him break off with the other woman.

    Want me to do the job? haha...

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  47. napaboaniya,
    Yah... 11 years!! When I heard that I wanted to rain blows on him! Can see smoke rising from my head then!!

    Christopher knows very well what I can do to him if he cheats on me.

    Maybe I should post up the tortures I have thought of. hehehe...

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  48. belinda,
    I don't know what young people are thinking these days. Marriage is not for keeps and treating bf and gf like clothes, changing when sick of them!? Jumping in and out of different beds...

    I'm old fashioned lah. Not suitable for this type of game, and my family members are not allowed to play!!

    Man cheating on fiance and gf... if they are not married, they have a right to choose wor. It is not right to lead two girls on but there is nothing to stop him.

    Girls must open their eyes big big... dun fall for such guys. If you cannot take it, leave him. There are many nice young men in Singapore. Can call me to introduce if you can't find. :)

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  49. mariuca,
    Thanks you for your support again!!

    Any person with common sense would have taught the fella a lesson.

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  50. wilfrid,
    The couple is still together.

    I told the man to divorce, he himself didn't agree because he still loves his family.

    When I asked him to leave the other woman, he ng ng ah ah... so I did it for him lor. I charged to his office and shamed the mistress. Clean break. The mistress hates him now. haha....

    Got lah!! I show you the durian husks photos. You so evil!

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  51. LadyJava,
    haha... family members must stick together and support one another mah!

    Unity is strength!

    I'm very relazzzz...... until the next crisis....

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  52. Capt Picard,
    I don't know what that adulterous pair was thinking! 11 years!

    How my poor cousin suffered! Whenever I think of that, I have the urge to sharpen my chopper.

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  53. carver,
    See, people feel disgusted with his behaviour too. That's why I had to teach him a lesson that he would never forget.

    I'm just sorry I didn't know about his infidelity earlier, and my cousin had to suffer for so many years.

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  54. satkuru,
    It is important to support our family members... of course not to do the bad things lah. Cannot gang together, go rob a bank! haha....

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  55. jmb,
    Sad to know that but they have been married for so many years and for the sake of their daughters, they have to stay together.

    I'm a young matriarch who can really kick balls! hehe...

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  56. You certainly cut him down to size. Nice one! Happy weekend

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  57. Eastcoastlife,
    You are doing a good thing to give that man a good lession.
    Hope he can renew his life after this painful experiences.
    Wow, you are such a brave lady, I salute you. You are doing for a good cause.
    Have a nice day.
    Best wishes from coolingstar9

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  58. family support are priceless babe!! Kudos to you !

    P

    PS : yes, voted for you and had you linked too ;)

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  59. Interesting,......... and I am glad someone spoke up and stuck up for your cousin. Have a wonderful weekend.

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  60. That is a great one! Hurrah for you,ECL! Nice post as usual! Happy Weekend;)

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  61. Hmmm... the photo made me think of Wong Fei Hung and/or kungfu training. Which when married with the story got me thinking that you had used martial arts on the offending male! ;D

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  62. your cousin's husband rightly deserves to have his ass kicked. i hope he's that guy in the photo (hehe).

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  63. coolingstar,
    Thanks. :)

    He will not be touching another woman for a long long time. haha...

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  64. Pearl,
    Thanks for your votes and link!
    Hope you are feeling better. *hugs*

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  65. ytsl,
    I didn't use kungfu on him.

    I took pictures of what I did to him, but decided not to use them because I promised not to show them to anyone else.

    Will put up a posed photo. hehe...

    ReplyDelete
  66. luna miranda,
    Yes, he deserves to have his ass kicked.

    No... the guy in the picture is my son. :D

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  67. Really great support you gave your cousin. And I do love the picture of Jaymes :) I hope his health is continuing to be OK.

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  68. I am glad your cousin's husband got what he deserved!

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  69. yr son has such a wonderful sense of balance :)

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  70. Oh that is a story you must tell us one day ECL :) I too can make scenes if pushed hard enough. I just feel bad for your cousin sounds like hubby is a creep!

    Off to vote for you now :)

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  71. ECL, i agreed w u that unmarried guy has the right to choose.

    but then, i still think it is wrong for him to have regular sex w another woman when he is still attached to his fiance.

    hmmm.. may be i'm much much old fashioned than u ;-)

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  72. I have been supporting him and you for the bloggers award.

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  73. My 13 yr old niece found out abt her father's infidelity by accident - some creditcard billings were left lying around on his desk. When confronted by my sis, he had the audacity to tell her that she n their 3 kids cant live without his income. So my sis kept quiet n he left to live openly with that other woman. He still comes around occasionally to claim his marital rights as it calls it. My brothers all wanted to beat him to a pulp, but it would serve no purpose bec the kids r still young n my sis is a full time housewife .. sigh ..

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  74. I'm so proud of you... you have my full support!

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  75. Cheating is never, ever acceptable!!
    well done, ECL!
    :)

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  76. tamara, i feel so sorry for ur sis.

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  77. It's unthinkable how one man can be having an affair with one woman and then married another woman and get by with 2 women in his life until you intervened to show your full support for your cousin.

    Has the relationship between your cousin and her husband improved or are they sticking together just for the sake of the children? I hope they have mended their relationship, put the past behind them and are happy now.

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  78. Great job catching the adulterer.

    You are a lady who stands up for injustice. Looking forward to seeing the picture of the punishment meted out.

    Jeff
    http://jeflin.net

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  79. A lot of times, the third party is at fault but sometimes, all parties need to be blamed. Sigh ...

    Many times, it is fated to happen!

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  80. What did Jaymes do to deserve this kind of punishment? He didn't vote for you huh? :P

    I got vote hor. Don't make me stand like that. Hahaha....

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  81. I am very happy your family supports eachother. That isn't always the case. I work at a battered women's shelter, and the majority of the women there do not have thier families full support - if they did they wouldn't have to be at the shelter. Many cultures frown more on divorce then the mans unfaithfulness. In many cultures the wife is expected to tolerate it. Good for you!!

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  82. a.
    Thank you so much for asking after Jaymes. He's still having abdominal pains and is undergoing a series of tests to locate the cause.

    He's in good spirits though. Like Mommy like son, he isn't bothered, he just makes lemonade out of lemons.
    hehe....

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  83. sue,
    Thanks for your support!

    My cousin didn't deserve the sh*t he dished out to her. I just had to teach him a lesson.

    ReplyDelete
  84. belinda,
    I'm old-fashioned and if we brought up moral values, he is condemned if he even has sex before marriage.

    But this is the new millennium, I have to change with the times or else I'll be called a dinosaur.

    If he has a fiance, he is supposed to be faithful to her... but then they are not bound by law... yet. So he can argue he has the right.

    If he is my son, I'll side him. If he is my future son-in-law, he would be nursing sore balls for weeks. :)

    hahaha... I have double standards.

    Don't treat me as an agony aunt, I give bad advice. :)

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  85. oceanskies,
    Thanks so much for your support! I know you are my greatest supporter!

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  86. tamara,
    I feel so sorry for your sis and her kids but angry with the man's conduct.

    Your sis could try to look for a job and be independent. Family members can chip in to help look after the kids or give their support in other ways.

    It's so sad that the poor woman has to carry this burden by herself and not be able to do anything.

    Give her and her kids my hugs please.

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  87. mar,
    Glad that you agree with me.
    So am I cheating if I'm lusting after George Clooney? wahahahaha....

    ReplyDelete
  88. jesie,
    It's such a sad, complicated story. The other woman was willing to be used.

    My cousin is still married to him but she has never forgiven him for the hurt he gave her. They are together for the sake of their daughters. Now that the daughters are grown up and working, she is feeling empty.

    Most of her life has passed by... now she's just an empty shell with not a care for whatever happens next. It's so sad.

    I just hope she doesn't do anything foolish....

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  89. jeflin,
    hahaha.... you want to see how I punish adulterers!? OK. Another post.

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  90. pinkhippo,
    Some people would say
    'It's love. When love comes, nothing matters.'

    Every one is entitled to love ... to love someone is not wrong, but if your love is going to cause hurt to the innocent... please think twice!!

    I pity the 3rd parties who are in love but cannot be together but I will not tolerate those who do it because of lust, money or power.

    ReplyDelete
  91. dk,
    He's just posing for the picture lah!
    He needs good muscles to support this posture, you know! hehe....

    If you don't support me, you will face worse punishment. :D

    ReplyDelete
  92. dianeca,
    It's important that family members support one another. Unity is strength... we can solve lots of problems if we stand together.

    And the country will be better if all citizens take care of their families. Money and energy can be channelled to better uses. There will be less friction among people.

    ReplyDelete
  93. ecl,

    Tks for ur compassion n empathy. My brothers r like surrogate Dads to the kids, buys them what they need. My sis has a job with a boutique n she is enjoying her independence in a way.

    ReplyDelete
  94. tamara,
    Ah, glad to hear that your sis is doing something for her kids and herself.

    Though she might want to wait for her man, it is better to get on with life meanwhile and try to help herself.

    If there is anything I or my readers can help, let us know.

    Cheers!

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  95. If that photo is any indication, I can just imagine how embarrassed he must feel hehe... Good job supporting your family! :)

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  96. I'm sorry about your cousin. It was terrible of her husband to have an affair for so many years. What was he thinking? Good for you for standing up for her!

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  97. philos,
    So many people are curious what I did to him ah. maybe show a bit of the photo later. hmmmm.....

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  98. awake in rochester,
    I think he's cunning and a scum for cheating the poor ladies.... not only his wife and mistress but his daughters too.

    Lucky there is no karma on his daughters. What if they were the mistresses of other married men?

    ReplyDelete
  99. i want to kill guys who get caught...hehehehe i never do..it would take CIA to catch me

    ReplyDelete

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