Sunday, March 16, 2008

A mistress is a mistress, don't flatter yourself!

At my wedding anniversary dinner, a hot debate popped up among my guests. Peter Lim, an ex-editor-in-chief of our local newspaper The Straits Times, wrote an article praising mistresses. This article Mistress? Me? No, I'm Ms got many of my married girlfriends fuming.

Peter Lim wrote :
“Such women also symbolize the progress the female sex has made with their financial independence, their freedom of choice – and their self-esteem according to their own values and preferences.

Yes, in case you have not noticed, I admire such women, as I admire all women anywhere who have come into their own desp
ite the barriers that still exist for the female sex.”

In the past, a woman who lived with a married man is called a mistress. Nowadays, women are financially more independent and do not need to rely on the men. They don't want the hassle of a family, only the companionship of men. Some of these women have no qualms sleeping with a married man. This is called 'progress'!?

This is a very poor example to show how far women have progressed!

During my parents' days, the women became mistresses because of economic reasons. They were not educated and protected under the Women's Charter. Some sacrificed themselves so that their siblings could have a better life. Some were left in the lurch when their husbands left them. It is very hard to justify their actions based on grounds of morality then.

Even leaders do it. The photos of Mr Eliot Spitzer beside his Harvard graduate wife and mother of his three lovely girls spoke volumes of the pain that Mrs Spitzer is feeling of this betrayal.

Today's generation change their girlfriends and boyfriends like changing cars! They slip in and out of relationships without a care in the world. It is not just the foreign gold-diggers, lower-income girls who are going after married men, but even the professionals.

I have seen many such women. Among my male business associates, most of them have mistresses. Some have several and even one in each different country! To the men, it's a sign of having arrived. Their mistresses show no sign of uneasiness or embarrassment when they tagged along for dinner parties or private functions. Some even behaved as though they are the lawful wives of their wealthy and powerful partners, barking orders and demanding service.

These women for their own selfish desires, bring misery to another woman and destroy the lives of many innocent children.

What my married girlfriends couldn't tolerate was that now these women are being put on a pedestal and seen as the new modern women!?


  1. I always tell the men to go back to their wives, but....

    I know this man who said that his wife doesn't like *ahem*... so, he had to look elsewhere... how liddat?

    ps: When u wanna change man ah? kakaka... Chris!! Just joking, k... :P

  2. I don't like and don't want to be the person to break up other people's family or relationship. I totally agree with you. They shouldn't be proud of themselves!

  3. Mistress, girlfriend, partner or whatever...

    Remember this; if you never service well your spouse (be it husband or wife) then someone else WILL!

  4. Like or don't like is secondary, windy.

    You may not like to eat fish but then which cat does not like to eat fish, huh? I think the cat that fear the wrath of God?

    How many people believes on punishment after death? It is like credit card; spend first and worry later!

    So, you may not like but can you stop others? Can others be like you?

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. A man cheats his wife because he is in an unhealthy relationship that already had existing problems.

    Do you think a man is really controlled by his “privates” and not his mind?

    The reasons why men are cheats in a happy relationship may be because they are selfish or to pump their ego. Cheating is an extremely selfish act and men who cheat rarely think about their partner’s feelings when committing the act. Since a cheating man lacks respect for his lady, he is obviously much more likely to make moves on a sexy lady.

    So ask "does my man respect me?"

    Some experts state that men cheat because they are lonely or simply as an escape. Since men are taught not to show or communicate their feelings, stopping the cheating behavior becomes even more difficult. Sometimes having sex is the only way a cheating man can even achieve an emotional bond. Because of this, it isn’t surprising that when men cheat, many times their emotional needs are not met at all. Those cheating men that suffer from the guilt associated from the affair, may experience a mix of emotions ranging from lashing out in anger, depression or being overly nice. It’s a vicious cycle and one that is hard to break.

    Then enter the pills such as Viagra and Cialis, and men do not have a proper chance to discover other forms of intimacy as they age. Many women look forward to their retirement years when their relationships will focus more on the communication aspect of their relationships but with the inventions of these pills, this is no longer possible.

  7. Hello eastcoast life.

    Nice post today, as usual. I am liking your blog a lot! I especially like the comments, although they make me blush! Thank you for visiting out little blog and giving us a little class. I am glad you came at a time when we were not talking so nasty. Thanks again!

    Relax Max

  8. Guess who won prize INTL #10?
    Yep it's you! Please be patient while the prize donor is contacted. They will be in touch with you soon. Congratulations!!!!!!!

  9. As a man from Norway and with a wife imported fro America, I'll say; I'm very happy with what I got :lol:

    Wishing you a great weekend Mrs.

  10. I agree!!!! I find it so outrageous!! I cannot stand it anymore.. I go sit down.

  11. My angel,
    The married men are at fault too. They have many excuses when they just want to have fun without commitments. Some are just cheapskates, not wanting to pay money for a prostitute.

    I have seen many men who don't feel remorse betraying their wives because they feel it is their right.

    I have seen many wives suffered in silence. One of my girlfriends committed suicide when she couldn't take it anymore.

    Don't get involved with a married men.

  12. service,
    My girlfriends whose husbands are cheating on them, the wives serve their husbands well... not only taking care of the household and children.... some work their butts off helping in the family business.... one even takes full-time care of her bedridden mother-in-law.... yet they are not spared the pain.

    The men are at fault here and some of the mistresses know their partners are married with good wives whom they will not divorce, yet they cling on.

    Right, we cannot stop them, but we cannot approve of such behaviour. Extra-marital affairs, whether committed by husband or wife, are not acceptable, they erode the family structure that is the foundation of our society.

  13. Hi Max,
    Thanks, I have some awesome readers who are ever ready to share their thoughts and views... they make my blog a better read. hehe...

  14. renny,
    You are a good man and Diane is a great wife! You know what I would do if you cheat on her! *snip snip* hahaha.....

  15. LB,
    Alamak, you with the 48 concubines! Of course you need to sit down often lah. kakaka....

    oi... serious topic today leh.....

  16. yenjai,
    yalor... so weird. These days, the well-educated people have a way of seeing and explaining things, what more the uneducated.

    Black becomes white... white becomes black... whatever they do, they try to justify them. I'm learning... so as not to fall behind times.... becoming the bastard is the trend now. geez.....

  17. Peter Lim's article is going to make those so-called progressed woman out there more gleeful and proud.

    IMO, girlfriend or mistress. It's most often that the WIVES have the last laugh. The husbands tend to return to his family and wife at the end of fresco! (higher percentile than those that don't)

    May I add that even if those progressed women gets the man after that numbskull man files a divorce THAT the EX-WIFE gets MORE! What more am I referring to??
    Go figure... *evil.mode* 50% or more if lucky

  18. day dreamer,
    I don't know what was he thinking....

  19. napaboaniya,
    I think Peter Lim's article made them feel more justified in their actions and probably boost their confidence.

    The wives of today don't have to take such sh*t, they can choose to leave and have their own lives back even without their husbands.

    If husbands can betray their wives, they are likely to do it to their lovers too. Karma.

  20. wow. this is serious topic. i find him so ridiculous too.

    no doubt most women today are financially independent but that only means women nowadays will not take this kind of shit from men.

    if the husband can cheat without feeling remorse at all, the wife today can and will walk out without hesitation... that's the modern women.

  21. mama of 2fellas,
    You're right the modern women are not going to take this shit from such men! The legal wives would probably squeeze the shit out of their hubbys in divorce settlements. lol

  22. I entirely agree with you only I wouldn't blame women, why women ?? If a man loves his wife he doesn't look for another and the girl could danse naked in front of his nose he wouldn't care. In my company there were a lot of man with mistresses but I rather blamed the men and not the women.

  23. gattina,
    Well.... the mistresses have to bear part of the blame too.

    The married men may have flaunted money, a job promotion and material things in front of their noses, they could have ignored the men. It needs two hands to clap.

  24. Better than the average KL Girl now, have to / willing to / forced to share their husband/ Boyfriend as the mentality here is..better share a good deal than get a lousy deal 100% anytime (Mat Gian,Rempit, Kaki Botol etc)

    azrin @

  25. Just great.

    Add another difficulty for poor, single males like me to find a life partner. (Cause the "available" gals went for married men.) I wonder why they do that? There are so many willing single males out there.

    Then again, I don't know if I would want these kind of person to be my life partner...

  26. azrin,
    sigh.... sometimes the good women are too frightened to do anything. If only they are more confident and there are more sisters to hep them out, I'm sure they don't have to subject themselves to the tyranny of their husbands.

  27. amused,
    Trust me, you are better off without such women.

    It's money money money on their faces. They want to live a life of luxury, jet off for holidays, attend parties, shop at branded boutiques... They don't want to be tied down with kids and count the pennies when they need to spend!

    The rich single and married guys get their chicks easily, just show off their expensive fancy cars, credit cards, wads of cash.... Wait! The rich guys don't have to do that nowadays.

    These women know who to target...

  28. It is a hard topic. Cynthia and I just met a friend of mine from Malaysia and guess what? She brought along her lover to meet us and he is ... married.

    Oh well. Morale values aside, the society is indeed shifting. I wouldn't call it a progress ... unless you are trying to say that we will be moving towards a female dominate society in time to come.

  29. As long as they are not married and is between the Mister and mattress, they are definitely a MISTRESS! :)

  30. Man is born naturally to hunt, for foods as well as for mates. Nature assigns him the duty to pursue both.

    Woman is born naturally to be persued and submit or choose to the strongest she fancies.

    The roles both man and woman play today are equal, as such, Paragraph one and two become outdated. Now both sexes cheat as mating becomes the highest form of leisure. The proof is everywhere, sex publications, sex toys, sex talks(chatline and what not), sex movies, pornography in the Net and sexual education in our education system.

    Take precautions(with condom and what not again) and have your fun seems to be the message. Who to blame? Everyone!

  31. Do you see now how much power you women have over us men?????

    We are weak from all the day dreaming we do about women!!