Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Don't Waste My Time!

This is another true story of a very nice gentleman who has a professional job saving lives, I think he 'killed' some too. hahaha......

In his mid-thirties, pleasant-looking, very health conscious (guarantee no illness), good-temperament, humourous, caring..... aaahhhh, a woman's dream partner. But he is divorced with a kid. Well, I have no problem with that and so do many other friends.

Lately he is unhappy and moody. After much prodding, he reveals he is seeing someone. And they have been seeing each other for more than two years. More than a year ago, he has proposed to her and until today she is still considering. What!?

Talk about wasting time!

Yes, he got a earful from me. He really wants to get married again. He's not getting any younger and his young kid is growing up. During the young child's growing years, there was no mother by his side to love and care for him. Now that the child is older, he might resist having another member sharing his Dad's love. And when the siblings come, I can foresee the problems.

Ok, the problem with this girl who is 30, is the fact that my friend is a divorcee and with a child. But she knew this before cruising into this relationship. So now she is giving excuses like, "My family objects." "I need to ask my mother." "I need 2 months to consider." And her 2 months gets to be renewed at every due date! And the poor man just lets her. *slaps my forehead and kicks him *

My advice to him is : While she is still yo-yoing, he should get to know more ladies. It's not that he is short of admirers. He has a queue of them. I find that the girl is wasting not only her time but the time of others. She has no right to do that to this gentleman. A simple 'Yes' or 'No' and then let's get on with life!

I was inquisitive and asked if they had an intimate realtionship. He hasn't 'makan' her yet! fuiyoh!

Why do we have such nice men in our midst? Need to kick them hard sometimes. aiyooo.... I really cannot tahan (tolerate). My son liddat, I'll strangle him!

64 comments:

  1. How come you lately become like those Aunt Agony?

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  2. dk,
    Yalor. Why so many people like to tell me their love troubles and problems!? Have girlfriend(s) also trouble, has no girlfriend also trouble! haiz.........

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  3. Ya lor.
    Can you give him a kick for me?
    I am sure there are other ladies who won't be wasting his time

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  4. Waaa waaaa....but if he oni has eyes for her leh?..wat to do wor..

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  5. yenjai,
    Ok, I'll give him your kick when I see him next week.

    Ok .....
    *scribbles down - 2 kicks.*
    Any more?

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  6. eve,
    Then he suffers lor.

    Before marriage, he is suffering.

    After marriage, it could be worse.

    I think he needs a brain surgeon to open up his head and check what is wrong. kekeke....

    Once bitten not twice shy. haiz...

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  7. Aiyo. I know how he feels. But don't kick la. Kesian the fella. He sayang her mah.

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  8. Eh BTW , wat do u all think about marrying a divorcee with kid/kids ar?..

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  9. Heard of a 20 years old guy got married, by putting up his phone no. in the internet.

    Maybe your friend, can tried this method?

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  10. Love is like a drug. Maybe he craves the same pain again... but it just feels so good.

    Kick him harder to wake up his idea - preferably in his over hardened nether region - his other head is getting to his head!

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  11. Bernard,
    Love is one thing. To love blindly is another. He has to open his eyes. This is for the rest of his life and it concerns many parties.

    He has to look further than the present hurdle of getting her to nod her head.

    当局者迷, 旁观者清!

    I should kick him until he wakes up. Any more kicks?

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  12. eve,
    I have no problem with marrying another divorcee with kids.

    *Maybe one day I might also become one, so cannot object. hahahaha.... selfish reason.*

    There are many reasons a couple gets divorced. Most times we won't be able to understand the actual reasons behind it. Some can be so silly.

    When looking for a life partner, we should look beyond many things.

    If the potential spouse is willing to face the obstacles in this new relationship and work together to overcome the odds, then if I'm that guy, I won't mind breaking through walls and jumping from high cliffs to marry her.

    I think many divorcees who want to get married again are more determined to make their second marriage work.

    Give these people a chance lah.

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  13. henry,
    This friend has a queue of more than 20 eligible ladies waiting for him to pick. He has no need to market himself publicly.

    :)

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  14. miccheng,
    Yah, that's what I want to do.

    Cannot understand his stubbornness, must really break his bones this time!

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  15. I guess love IS blind. But it shouldn't be, eh?

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  16. agree with what you said. I think the guy should get to know more ladies and open up his opportunity to the queue.

    why do you always know nice guys huh? moi feeling threatened liao...

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  17. Bernard,
    Love shouldn't be blind.

    One day when he regains his sight, he is gonna be horrified. Life is so short, my friend shouldn't be looking for trouble. His sayang should be the poor child.

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  18. chillycraps,
    Nice guys get attracted to me, the BIG BAD WOMAN! hehehe......

    I'm like a Big Sister or Mother to most of my friends and staff. I don't like to beat around the bush. I give my frank opinions.

    Usually the good guys are those that get bullied, right? Bad guys don't need my kaypoh. :)

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  19. it's perfectly natural to complain ... got gf complain... no gf also complain ... you can't win sometimes.

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  20. Dear Aunt Agony,

    Recently I've been having some problems. My guinea pig died on me, my house burnt down when I went to the park for a jog (during which I stepped on someone's pet cat and killed it, had to pay $2000 for it), I am now homeless and have no TV so I can't watch the Fann Wong 9pm tv drama on Channel 8, my boyfriend walked out on me for dk99 (also a male), and my neighbour who has smelly and sweaty armpits in addition to bad breath, an acne-ridden face, fleas on his head, athletes' foot, and farts non-stop, has confessed his love for me and follows me around all the time.

    How should I handle this situation?

    I want to kill myself... Please help, CCDA!! I cannot live with this misery anymore...

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  21. hi ka
    Thanks for stopping by.

    Yes, everyone always has something to complain. Give and take lah.

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  22. Dear Daphne,

    Guinea pig can buy new one back,
    Money can earn back,
    House can build back,
    Gay boyfriend, don't take back!
    Oh dk99 ar!? You better watch your back.
    TV can go Giant carry back.
    Waaahhhh! You so black!
    Attract this type of admirer, Aunty also want to crack.
    You dare to commit suicide, I smack!
    Think I eat full nothing to do,
    What the heck!

    wahahaha....

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  23. ha..em..how to make a guy *makan her* ah..wanna learn also le..^^

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  24. ah hong,
    小朋友不可以学这个! 长大一点阿姨再教你.
    :)

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  25. Makan? LOLOLOLOL!!!!!

    But sometime, love can really blind a person to the extent that nothing is too unacceptable.. *sigh*

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  26. lb,
    Why you laugh? As if you never makan before? hahaha.....

    Yah, some people can be so blindly in love, haiz.....

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  27. Love has blinded him... khor lian... I contribute two kicks, pls? :D

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  28. My angel,
    He khor lian you still want to kick him twice!? lol....

    ok lah.
    *scribbles +2 = 4 kicks* :)

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  29. Wah, eastcoastlife, are you talking about someone I know from blogging? Nudge2, wink2, say no more!
    I tell you, love is blind until one betul, betul putus with the person he/she loves. Then the person whose heart is broken will look back years later and realised that it was a blessing the relationship didn't eventuate.
    I think if this kind, soft and gentle man lets go of this woman who keeps him hanging in the air for son long, he will soon find someone who is the real love of his life.
    The thing is, he needs to be brave and call it quits.
    Don't kick him lah, as Bernard says, painful you know! :))

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  30. You should hold a course teaching guys what to do, it will be a hit :p

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  31. Eh, hot mamma, since when you moonlight as Aunt Agony?! Heh!

    Actually, sometimes girls bad boys. I can safely guarantee this man that if he had makan the girl sooner, he would have her eating out of his hands! (Or *ahem* somewhere else lah!)

    Sometimes, I think our guys these days try too hard to be gentleman and take it slow with the girls. And girls these days are so adventurous that they will find these nice boys boring..

    Haiz, we need more ECLs to knock some sense to these young men..

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  32. love is blind..
    Mmmmm...

    in conclusion, there are still nice people in this world. So it's not a hopeless world after all ;)

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  33. Goodness sake. This is how I see it: of course, that woman was either wasting his time (most likely) or afraid of another failed marriage. As for him, I have a feeling that he mainly wants to find a mother for his son... I would also so no to him if that's the case!

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  34. Judy,
    Kamu juga tahu!? Wah! Lelaki dia sudah minta tolong dari banyak orang ya. Masih tidak mau bangun. ish.

    Must really kick him. No, must bash him until he lies in bed for 2 weeks to think it over carefully.
    hahaha.....

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  35. arzhou,
    Yes, I'm sure my course would be a hit! :)

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  36. Iris,
    That's what I thought! the makan thingy. hahaha ....

    We are in a new millenium, so our thinking needs to change. Seems like girls are embracing these changes and adapting well to the new ways of our society. We need to be bold in thinking and discard the old ways.

    Where many educators and leaders in Singapore are hypocrites themselves, they should not expect other Singaporeans to listen to their holier-than-thou bullshit.

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  37. chen,
    Yes, there are still nice people in this world, they do give us hope for a better world.

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  38. windy,
    My understanding is : He's actually finding his soulmate and companion. His ex-wife still visits their son. It is not wrong to want to find a new mother for his son too.

    But the thing is, he doesn't realised he's being taken for a ride. :(

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  39. I have 2 buddies in the same situation as your friend, divorced with kids and their current gfs whom they are deeply in love and wanna marry with have real problems accepting their kids. I think it's also natural for a gal to wanna be special and have her own kids instead of 'marrying into burden'. So in a way I can emphatise with this gal.. her procrastination maybe because she really like him and dun wanna let him go?

    Anyways, love that poetic response you made to daphne :) kudos

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  40. Affairs of the heart, outsiders difficult to understand?

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  41. Aunt Agony, I think the ger still choosing lah....since you wrote she is still in her 30s. If now, she already 40s, then maybe she'll just say "yes".

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  42. Highwayblogger,
    A couple of divorced friends are facing such problem too. The other party don't want the kids who come along. It is not acceptable to my divorced friends. Any wonder many divorced, especially ladies, don't want to remarry.

    hehe.... thanks for the compliment on the reply to daphne's comment.

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  43. tigerfish,
    I think so too. She still has time and youth. :)

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  44. My neighbour, a lady, was divorced with three children. She got married some time back and they have another child now. He was WILLING TO ACCEPT her and her children and they are a happy family.

    I guess it depends on willingness. If NOT willing, just say "NO" la.

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  45. Bernard,
    That was a lucky lady! Her second husband is a great man. I wish them happiness.

    Ya ya Bernard, I agree with you.

    "If NOT willing, just say "NO" la, DON'T WASTE MY TIME!!!"

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  46. Why does everyone want to kick the poor man? Kick the lady lah!

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  47. mumsgather,
    hehehe.... Didn't you read? He is good-tempered, soft and a gentleman mah. The kicks are Wake Up kicks! Can't kick a woman leh!

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  48. Actually, I find that unless one has experienced or gone through a similar situation as the one faced by the "problem case', one cannot understand why that person acted the way he/she did.
    We on the sidelines can just wonder and comment.

    Love indeed is "blind" sometimes...

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  49. Of course the lady could also be stringing the poor guy along until a better prospect comes along , I dont know

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  50. just me,
    Whatever the reasons she might have, she shouldn't have kept him waiting for more than a year? That shows she didn't give priority nor careful thoughts to the proposal nor the man. Why drag?

    If she loves him enough, she will want to face whatever problems they might have alongside each other. Rely on each other for strength.

    Maybe the man has a problem ... hmmm....

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  51. Erm ... it takes two to clap you know. One willing to be strung along and one willing to accept deferred decisions.

    If all the guy wants is marriage (funny, usually is the other way), just set a time line and stick by it lor. Problem is some people naturally invest more as the stock goes down.

    Or if he was my friend, I would have asked him to marry a China/Vietnam bride and keep the now-girlfriend as mistress. His kid will have a mother, he still has his romance, the girlfriend gets what she wants - no marriage and no pressure for marriage, the bride gets what she wants (out of the village). Everybody happy. What a win-win-win-win situation. Your nice gentleman friend may come out as the biggest winner in the end. All problems solved.

    ** Shrug **

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  52. Whoa Wilfrid!
    You have a great suggestion here!

    I'm sure my friend's reading this. Please propose this to the girl. Consider doing this win-win-win-win suggestion. :)

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  53. When you love someone, no mater he cacat ke, botak ke, you will jump when he first proposed. When you are in doubt of love, you will ask for some time to think and bla bla. And when she mentioned that her family object la, bla bla... this is all a hint la wei. You should know by now what is her answer. ECL, slap this guy with your slipper when you see him.

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  54. HijackQueen,
    Yes, Your Majesty!

    *scribbles 4 kicks and a slap with my slippers.*

    I need to bring my chopper anot ar?

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  55. yeaaahh, don't waste his time! where got such nice men around like him these days? introduce him to me!

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  56. May,
    Yah, you are a good girl, you are more suitable for him. :)
    I'll talk to him.

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  57. Eastcoastlife,

    Thanks for kicking some sense into me. "Ouch!"

    There were some legitimate concerns that the girl needed to think thru. Which was why I felt it was right to wait. To wait or not to wait is a matter of choice and preference. Aside from the inability to decide, she's a wonderful person. It's easy to love her. She was just paralysed with fear of the unknown future.

    dk, have you got anything to share with taikarche?

    Yenjai, et tu, Brutus? Haha. I know you mean well.

    Eve, ya whatudo, right?

    Bernard, sayang very much. You understand.

    Henry, there are many wonderful women on the internet, but I think I have to get over this hurdle first. One thing at a time.

    Miccheng, ouch!! I still haven't become a masochist.

    Chillycraps, awww, dun be threatened... I can't even handle a tardy girl. How to handle anything more?

    KaR, just sharing :-)

    Daphne, sorry about your guinea pig. I hope your new pet will cheer you up.

    Ahhong, ya i wanna learn too.

    LB, yup.. there's something called partial blindness, right?

    Angel, kesian liao.. kick again? Ouch! Ouch!

    Judy, wow.. you know I know enuff la.

    Arzhou, I'm in. But then.. most guys dun like to ask girls what to do la.

    Iris, I'll enrol in your course too :-) .. seriously, I think that it's a matter of personal preference la.

    Chen, it's definitely not hopeless. :-)

    Windy, thanks for being straightforwad. That's AN answer I need.

    Highwayblogger, i might have to decide for her then, eh? Think that would be the way to go.

    Vagus, principles got me nowhere worr.

    Tigerfish, she's not choosing. I know that she's a person of principles too... and won't be looking around whilst thinking about it.

    Mumsgather, wow... no la.. leave that to me. I mean the wake-up call.

    Just me, not easy. But sometimes, looking from the outside might give you a fresh perspective on things. For which I thank you.

    Wilfred, how true that one gets more willing to invest more and more...

    ... hey, an interesting proposal.. will throw it in the air one of these days to see the reaction. :-)

    Hijackqueen, weiii.. i'm not THAT bad la. Ouch!

    May, don't be greedy ;-)


    Anyway, I have to move on. Thank you all for your concern and thoughts.

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  58. Does this mean that it is too late to comment? Damn!

    Well, I think he got the idea, ECL. You kicked him virtually well.

    If she cannot decide on this, then she just isn't prepared for marriage. Then again, it isn't easy to keep dating to find the right one - it is painful and tiring at the same time!

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  59. Georgie,
    No, it's better late than never.

    Yes, I agree with you that to go dating all over again after a failed relationship is painful and tiring.

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  60. OMG!!!
    i happen to come to ur post and i didnt expect to read this.

    u know what? i know this girl...and this guy too (from the girl). heard so much of them d.

    and i really sympathize this girl.
    all the stories u all might had heard are the guy's stories.

    all the stories i had heard are from the girl's. not exactly like what u all been told.

    none of us really know what exactly going on between them.

    so, don condemn the girl just by listening to the guy's stories.

    as far as i know, she was just being too perfectionist and not good enough to make decision for herself (all her friend knows that). she don need a perfect man (eg. unmarried) but she really want to be sure that she can face all the challenges before she acccept his proposal, cos she dont want to hurt the guy in future.she was just being too afraid to hurt him. the guy been putting too much stress on her.

    to her, the guy is such a nice guy and she look so highly upon him. but she really donknow that, with her characters, she had been taking advantage of.

    she wasted both their time, but worst, she wasted her very own precious time. that guy had tasted so many things in life d, but she had not even get into any relationship before. she put too much hope in this relationship and she thinks too much. all these years, she keeps her commitment as promised, she had shut herself from all those queuing for her. her heart is for this guy only.

    love is blind! told her to let him go, yet she so strongly attached to him.

    i thot the everything came to an end when she accepted him, but what a disappoinment she gets in return. i really want to kick that guy, really hard, if i can.

    i really hope this time she can let go of him. havent been talking to her for months. i hope she is fine and i really hope she dont read this post.

    ps: FYI, objection from her family was not the reason or excuse for her not to accept him. dont judge when u dont know the truth.

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  61. OMG!!!
    i happen to come to ur post and i didnt expect to read this.

    u know what? i know this girl...and this guy too (from the girl). heard so much of them d.

    and i really sympathize this girl.
    all the stories u all might had heard are the guy's stories.

    all the stories i had heard are from the girl's. not exactly like what u all been told.

    none of us really know what exactly going on between them.

    so, don condemn the girl just by listening to the guy's stories.

    as far as i know, she was just being too perfectionist and not good enough to make decision for herself (all her friend knows that). she don need a perfect man (eg. unmarried) but she really want to be sure that she can face all the challenges before she acccept his proposal, cos she dont want to hurt the guy in future.she was just being too afraid to hurt him. the guy been putting too much stress on her.

    to her, the guy is such a nice guy and she look so highly upon him. but she really donknow that, with her characters, she had been taking advantage of.

    she wasted both their time, but worst, she wasted her very own precious time. that guy had tasted so many things in life d, but she had not even get into any relationship before. she put too much hope in this relationship and she thinks too much. all these years, she keeps her commitment as promised, she had shut herself from all those queuing for her. her heart is for this guy only.

    love is blind! told her to let him go, yet she so strongly attached to him.

    i thot the everything came to an end when she accepted him, but what a disappoinment she gets in return. i really want to kick that guy, really hard, if i can.

    i really hope this time she can let go of him. havent been talking to her for months. i hope she is fine and i really hope she dont read this post.

    ps: FYI, objection from her family was not the reason or excuse for her not to accept him. dont judge when u dont know the truth.

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