Wednesday, May 30, 2007

eastcoastlife needs cosmetic surgery

One of my Chinese students' father is a well-known cosmetic surgeon in Shanghai. He was in Singapore recently to visit his daughter. We had dinner and when he heard that I woud be in Shanghai for some time, he asked me to visit his clinic for a free surgery. Any part of me that I want to be corrected will be accommodated.

hmmmm..... that got me seriously thinking. I could do with some liposuction, a nose job, boobs like Pamela Anderson. Ok, I agree with all of you, I need a major correction. Change the whole face. :)

My body does irk me nowadays, whenever I look into the full-length mirror of my bathroom. When a woman passes the age of 40, every part of it tends to defy gravity. And the weight just keeps piling up even if I just drink water!

When I remove my bra, the wrinkles disappear from my face. Whenever I go braless and wear a mini skirt, male friends cast more looks at me because they thought they saw balls dangling beneath my skirt. Ya..... I could use them as slings when I see bad guys. hahaha.....

A girlfriend who has gone for a few cosmetic surgeries and botok injections tells me she would like to see a great invention. Say, to surgically plant a roller in her head and by turning a knob a few times, it could tighten the loose skin of her body in a jiffy. Every year, when the skin gets a little saggy, she could just turn the knob and voila! No wrinkles. Hey, pretty good invention.

But then, if this knob turning goes on for years, she might discover one day......... She has grown breasts on her forehead and a goatee on her chin! hehehe......

42 comments:

  1. Your girlfriend has great mind to be an invention. Now, she needs someone to make her idea a reality.

    Send you a *hug*. You are loved for who you are.

    ReplyDelete
  2. oceanskies,
    yes, she does have great ideas.

    awwww.... thanks.

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  3. ECL, no need lor.
    Why goes through that?
    You already are a good friend.
    You won't become a better friend just by having plastic :P

    (Haha. I like the : If I go braless, my wrinkles on face goes away)

    ReplyDelete
  4. yenjai,
    Thanks so much for your compliments!
    muaaack

    Does Bernard do plastic surgery??? hehehe......

    ReplyDelete
  5. hahaha! if only those "eureka inventions" get made. I'd like to see boobs on her forehead!

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  6. Before she does anything, can we check the original state first? Haha! I'm sure nothing can be done to your warm personality under the knife. That is the most valuable.

    Anyway to your question previously, no chicks lah. 可怜没人爱. Been busy with work though. This weekend will be in bintan for another show so Friday and Sat morning I will not be around Sg.

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  7. May,
    hehehe.... two headlights and a bushy chin! hehehehe.....

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ed,
    You want to check her? Why not check me? I'm still in original condition. hehehe.....

    awww.... thanks for your compliment. muaccck

    Slow down and smell the roses!

    ReplyDelete
  9. You're good wat. No need to change. Otherwise you'll not be voted as the hottest momma la! ;)

    Anyway, plastic girls put me off. You hv a feeling that if someone is plastic, she's so fake.... artificial...plain plasticky! I love natural girls better. 自然美才是最美的! ;)

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  10. Ed,
    Now you make me blush! You wanted to check people first wor. :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. kyh,
    awww... thanks.
    Better to be fleshy than plastic huh! hehe.....

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  12. I'll be passing that 40 mark soon .. but my body already irks me. But I still stand firm on natural beauty and beauty within.

    Hopefully I won't turn against my views when the boobs and bum start heading for the ground.

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  13. earthember,
    hahaha.... I thouhgt like you when I was younger. Now when I survey the damage, I am tempted to change my mind.

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  14. Wow..!! surgery on the house..!! that's not too bad at all.. ! if i weren't so chicken about surgery .. i would try to tag along.. hahhaha!!

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  15. mamabok,
    hahaha.... I like that! Surgery on the house!

    I'm scared of pain and blood. Not likely to take up the offer. Too chicken to do it.

    What if come out too gorgeous? muahahahaha.....

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  16. You eat salt more than I eat rice... you don't know what is discreet???

    ROFLMAO!

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  17. oh! okay! hehehe....
    *Zip my mouth*

    BUT,
    Protest!! I'm very health conscious! I dun like to eat salty or sweet food. And I dun eat a lot of carbo becos on diet. :)

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  18. keropok man,
    Scared you cannot imagine mah! hahaha.....

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  19. Your diet is noted... *quickly register in notepad*

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  20. I agree...after 40, it's a point of no return. :(

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  21. king's wife,
    sniff...sniff... Don't remind me of that!

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  22. In that case, would I have an elephant's face? Hmm, well, I suppose that isn't totally a bad thing, but the risk is that it might not be an elephant. It could turn out to be a Tapir instead..

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  23. Alamak... asking so openly again.

    *Blush like baboon's backside*

    Kinda busy for now, one-man-show. We shall have dinner when you are all done with your hot dates. But I give you advance notice first... I get nervous when I have to sit down with a pretty mother for a meal. I always end up biting my lips and not meat. You don't mind right?

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  24. Wahhhhhhhhhh.....I can get my hands on botox but not the plastic surgery...I go for you can ar?..kakkakkaka...

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  25. Yep, after 40 it happens to guys too you know... the bulging tummy.
    Last time I could see my wee-wee. These days I've got to use a mirror! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  26. The way you write it, I almost laugh off my chair! btw, you made headlines tonight in the evening Chinese newspaper you know? That willy story.

    ReplyDelete
  27. You are too funny. I laughed at this post it made me smile'

    Thank You

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  28. lb,
    I'm really amazed at your incredible memory. I'm looking forward to what you can remember about me 5 years down the road. hehehe.....

    ReplyDelete
  29. Ed!
    Don't worry. I'm a fat, ugly mother now. I'm worried you might not have the appetite to eat. :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. eve,
    Want to come along to Shanghai? You can learn from the great surgeon. :)

    Does botok cost less in Malaysia? :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oops cocka.
    You sound so different from what lb describes. hmmmm.... you balloon within a year?

    After 40, most guys and gals aren't even worth a look! :(

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hi fleck!
    haiz.....

    Yes, my hubby bought the papers. We were both shocked that it has escalated into such a big hoohah!

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  33. Teacher Dave,
    I'm glad you were entertained.
    :)

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  34. I supposed with the exchange rate , botox does cost less in Malaysia...I use all the left over nia..too kiamsiap to open a new bottle for myself..Oops..what did I just revealed abt myself?..sei for.

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  35. no need lah, you already so hot liow!
    besides I don't believe in cosmetic surgery leh...like so fake liddat :D
    But of course, it's up to individual lah! Then end up everyone looks the same.

    ReplyDelete
  36. eve,
    hahaha ..... you use leftover botok? Must save for how long to fill one bottle? Are you sure you need botok? You're so young. er... can keep some for me? kekekeke..

    ReplyDelete
  37. tigerfish,
    hehehe... thanks.
    I want to look like Zhong Chu Hong, my hubby's idol. hehehe....

    I think I'm quite a beauty lah. No need plastic surgery. hehehe....
    Puke!

    ReplyDelete
  38. oh dear wat happened to your newer entries??

    ReplyDelete

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