Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Love lives forever, in our hearts..........

爱情可能会被遗忘, 但不会消失.....
Grandma started behaving weirdly. She was getting very forgetful. She went to the market and didn't know how to come home. She kept doing things twice, even thrice. She was diagnosed with dementia.

As days went by, she couldn't remember the people around her. One morning, grandpa woke up to see her gone from the house. He called all his children and grandchildren and they started looking for her all over the neighbourhood. They couldn't find her. Then grandpa suddenly rushed out, with his sons following closely behind.

They found grandma outside their old house which they had moved away more than 20 years ago. She was staring at it. Just standing on the sidewalk.... staring at it. She turned to look blankly at grandpa, wanted to say something but seemed to have lost it. Grandpa gently held her arm and softly said,"Let's go."

Mo xiao said, her grandpa's heart was shattered into tiny pieces at that moment, he was devastated. The woman who had been his companion for more than 50 years, had lost her memories of him ...... and her life.

Two years later, grandpa passed away. Mo xiao and her parents moved in to stay with grandma. For the next few days, grandma acted funnily. She kept opening the door of the fridge, many times a day. She would open both doors and rummage through the whole fridge. It looked like she was looking for something, but she had forgotten what she was looking for.

One afternoon, Mo xiao heard a loud crash in the kitchen. She rushed to the scene and saw that the door of the fridge had fallen off! Grandma had opened it so many times that the door of the fridge just fell off. Everyone was shocked and puzzled. What was she looking for?

The day they bought a new fridge, grandma fell ill and never got off the bed again. A few days later, she passed away. That was two weeks after grandpa's death. Then suddenly the family realised, even though grandma had her life erased from her memory, the love that existed in her heart knew there was something she had lost. She was looking for grandpa in the fridge......

What a beautiful love story! My eyes were all wet even as I write it down......



  1. beautiful, just too beautiful, am at loss of words....

  2. Wow
    You can really lay out a story

    I guess she already know she lost someone. She just couldn't picture the face. She also can't string a sentence. Real suffering

  3. Tells us so much about the frailty of our own humanity.. So sad. So pitiful.

  4. My own mother has dementia. It really eats her up and we, as her next-of-kin, are heart-broken.

    I'm so scared I would get dementia too. Thus the constant writing.

  5. Great post. Brave of you to share your fears over dementia. Yoga and eating the right foods can aid on the onset of dementia/Alzeimer's

  6. Ooooo... the great Jeremy Jacobs!!! Wow!

    Thanks for the visit. :)

  7. Is it true that if one spouse dies, and the other follows susequently fairly quickly, it shows they really love one another?
    Or there is no truth in this?

  8. A touching story...but I don't know if there is anyone in this world who would love me so deeply.

  9. We read stories about couple who held hands into their twilight years ... and whose everlasting love for each other never seems to die... This is one of them....

    BTW ECL, better go draw up your will fast (writing a will is also a form of writing mah), in case kena struck by dementia. Dun wait until you forget who should inherit your money. If the unthinkable happens, you can leave your inheritence to me lor. LOL.

  10. Was she ill before she passed away? I wonder what took her away. Must be the loss of will to live. I've seen for myself how an old couple, gone away, one after another. And the one that passed away later actually was not seriously sick or ill. But I guess it was the loss of will to live after seeing the beloved go first.
    *cry cry*

  11. Nice story, Hope she found him..Alzheimer's slowly erased the memories of both a Dear Uncle and A good friend's father and I felt the pain of not being recognized or remembered and I understand how that must have devastated the Grandfather.

  12. That was a well told story; you write it in a flowing way..

  13. Beautiful story. It reminds me of my own maternal grandmother who cared for us a lot and was also struck with dementia in her latter days. All she said then in Hokkien were that we were very good, and that we should pray to Jesus repeatedly.

    Have you heard the song "Love Me" by Colin Raye? I think it perfectly describes the lifelong love story which you have told us here. My eyes will mist whenever I hear that song, just like when I read this story. Yeah, I am a sentimental fool.

  14. I find it shockingly familiar to my own grandparents story....

    my grandpa has passed away, and my grandma is now in old folks home.

    i teared a little reading this story, because i was reminded of my grandma, who is senile now already.

    i feel ashamed that in my generation now, people do not treasure love as much as the older generation...

    Just like what morrie in "tuesday with morries" said, love wins, love always win.

  15. Hi just me!
    Thanks for dropping in. Welcome.

    I believe very much that couples who are really in love or care for one another, will miss the spouse who passed away first and subsequently follows because of loneliness.

    Even when they have the support and company of children, grandchildren and friends, it will be different without the spouse.

    I told my hubby that I wish to die before him because if he goes first, I'll not be able to carry on living.

  16. oceanskies,
    There will be one who's right for you.

    But first you must condition yourself or prepare yourself for Love. I'll talk to you personally on this.

  17. haiz Chris,
    I oredi draw up my will two years ago. How can I leave it to chances or to the government?

    Oh, I better see my lawyer soon and leave you something. hehe....

  18. tigerfish,
    She was nearly 80, so there were some sickness and her dementia. But I believe she died because she missed her husband so much. Although she had lost her memory but deep in her heart, she know something's missing.

    So when the fridge was removed, she finally gave up her will to live.

    I would do the same. Life would be different without my other half who has been by my side for so many years.

  19. Nice one...

    I would have looked for my future husband in the fridge too :P

  20. Hi Tom,
    Nice to see you here again.

    ya,it's a terrible feeling not being recognised by someone you know for so long.

  21. yo Bernard,
    Thanks. Need to talk to you some time.

  22. Captain Picard! *salute*
    Hello, Sir!

    Thanks for the compliment, Sir!


  23. SA,
    Yes, it is. Would like to know how you would deal with the death of a spouse.

  24. cool insider,
    Like you, I'm also sentimental. Though I look tough, talk tough and act tough, I'm like tofu inside and a burst pipe when I get emotional. hahaha....

    Will check out Colin Raye's song.

    Tina is one lucky woman. May both of you live happily ever after.

  25. yes, etel
    Love wins, love ALWAYS win.

    If you have found your love, treasure it. Nothing beats being loved and being able to love. And if you have lots of love, please give some to those who need it.

    Grandparents and our parents have so many love stories that would put us to shame.

  26. fida darling,
    Don't look in the fridge, look on the streets! hahaha....

    Wish you more happiness when you find your love!

  27. Beautiful story, now I must go blow my nose :)

  28. This reminds me of my parents. My mum slowly become dementia after my dad passed away. Now, she is staying in Nursing home as we need professional nurse to take care of her.

  29. oh Pauline,
    I know how sad it is to not have our Mom recognise us.....

  30. I used to cycling regularly in East Coast Park

  31. Hi Henry!
    You used to? Now no more. Too many cyclists and people liao leh!

    I live 5 mins-walk from East Coast Park also sian to go.

  32. Oh! What is sad love story. I nearly want to cry (but I'm at work so I better not to...). Well, at least they are together again somewhere, happy ever after...

  33. Hi Windy,
    Glad to see you again.

    Yes, they are together again and would never have to part.......

  34. Gosh...Eastcoastlife talking personally to me about preparing myself for Love.

    My dear, please spare me. You may have probably realise that I don't like having people nag at me or breathe down my neck...If you don't, I shall inform you here.

  35. hahaha.... I'm not gonna breathe down your neck la, pleazzzzz....

    I don't nag, ok? Ask Jaymes.

  36. Oh My Dear, that is my fear...dementia...sometime I find difficulty in spelling a very simple word, people's names also find hard to recall(not those who owed me money).

    Taking DHA, EPA, Ginkgo biloba with Brahmi supplements, still not very effective.

    Everyone believed that is due to stress.

    We missed our planned honeymoon to Japan for the Sakura Festival for our anniversary last month. I sincerely hope we should never forgo it in our next anniversary.

    Yes, I believed both of us also do not want to be the one to be left behind, and we also do not know whether we will meet again after that.

    We have to find at least a few times in a year or one time in a week, where we have to go for holidays or pak toh, to be in our world of two. We have to continue with our nightly karaoke.

    As No One knows, how many weeks? months? or years? we can be together. But what else would I asked for, I am very lucky and had enjoyed endless of memorable times, that we have together.

    With Love Always
    Hubby - CT

  37. Wow, lovely story and a even a lovelier comment here from your husband (?). You are very blessed.


  38. A very touching story, dementia, alzheimer's are very very hard diseases to deal with especially for the love ones of those who suffer from it :o(

  39. I don't have good vibes about the non-nagging part...

    But I can say that Eastcoastlife, please make time to spend with your loved ones, e.g. your husband and Jaymes.

  40. Herself's went to her grandmother's funeral two days ago. She had dementia for many years. She was 88 and had epilepsy - which caused her to be institutionalized due to catatonic episodes. Sad day nonetheless. Sorry to hear yours had the same disease.

  41. Chris honey,
    You get dementia, the first thing I do is - to leave you! muahahahaha........

  42. Hello Judy,
    Thanks for coming again. hehe....

  43. firehorse,
    It is really sad for the patients' families. You see a beautiful person being reduced to a toddler or even baby stage.

  44. oceanskies,
    Dun worry, Chris & Jaymes have lots of my time.

  45. Hi Chris Sim (the other handsome Chris)

    Writing a will, and putting your name on it still not enough lah.

    Got take a family photo together or not? "God Son" also can.

    One day, you may out of sudden see the "family photo", my lawyer hunting for you, crime library also looking for you.

    Don't forget when my estate is included, may not be very small sum hor.. As we strongly believed, the other one that left behind cannot last long.....LOL

    Christopher Tan
    (Other 1/2 of ECL)

  46. Hi Darling

    If you leave me, when I actually suffer from serious dementia. Trust me, I will not be sad.

    I must thank GOD that U will not going to suffer, by taking care of a sick husband...muahahaha.

    I will say that, I will feel better if you can remind me just once, -(what I ask you to do now), that I should be leaving you, and leave behind my estate to you.

    Or any of our friends here can help to remind me, this is my special wish. Many...many..thanks.

    With Love Always
    Christopher Tan

  47. Hi all doctors/ friends

    Sssssh....please help me, any better prevention or medication for dementia..


    Christopher Tan

  48. I don't know any proven method to preventing dementia, but I heard and remember reading that keeping the mind active could slow down the occurence of dementia.

    Ah, I know what, Eastcoastlife, you can learn to play a musical instrument. Playing a musical instrument uses many parts of our brain and would surely keep the mind productively active. Well, you would probably know that I am biased when I propose this method.

    Or play mahjong or do lots of difficult maths questions mentally?

  49. Oooo oceanskies,
    I'm trying to learn to play the electronic organ. Still struggling...

    I started learning to play mahjong two years ago. Not a good player, probably lose money if I gamble, hehe....  

  50. Maybe you can play mahjong without involving money?

    Electronic organ. Cool. I love the acousitc organ. But it is more challenging to learn an instrument if you don't have easy access to one to practise regularly. Jia You. Playing music is very fun.

  51. oceanskies,
    Dun worry, I have no such luck so have not been using money.

    Yes, it's fun to 'beat' out a tune. hahaha...

  52. Beat out a tune?
    Maybe you could try singing that tune in your heart and then play it out with your fingers. That way, you make music from the heart. =)

  53. hahaha... I'm such a cave-woman. ok, I'll try your suggestion.

  54. If my spouse died now. Hmmm...

    I would have to see that my children finished school. Once my son graduated from High School, I would sell my home. Then I would be on my way to SE Asia.

    I would probably buzz around like a bee. Not pollinating whores and sarong party girls, but looking to see if I can the place that is drawing me. Sometimes I feel there is a gravity that pulls me across the Pacific.

  55. SA,
    You really have a thing for Asia huh! It is a happening place. Don't mind the mess and the lawlessness sometimes.

    I have met many Westerns in Thailand, China, Malaysia, Taiwan, Indonesia and of course, there are lots in Singapore. Many have chosen to sink their roots in Asia. And they are loving every minute of it. I hope your dream will come true one day and you will love every minute of it.