Monday, November 27, 2006

Have a jolly good time, Jaymes!

Jaymes left this morning at 12.20 am for Fukuoka, Japan with 20 selected teenagers from Malaysia on a Lions' Club Youth Exchange Program. He's the only youth representing Singapore. He looked smart in his red blazer & tie. I tried not to cry and I sent him off with a big hug. He will be away from us for 31 days.

Jaymes has a medical condition which up to now many doctors couldn't diagnose. He sleeps at 10 pm every night, wakes up at 6.30 am every morning and throughout the day, he would still feel sleepy. He sleeps in class, it irks many of his teachers including his principal. He cannot control it. He would suddenly become breathless, temporarily paralysed, not being able to speak or move.

He has seen a few specialists in Singapore and taken a few laboratory tests. I have brought him to consult doctors in Taiwan & China. There was so much different opinion. I have always left him to lead a normal life. He swims, he plays basketball, he goes abroad for holidays, sometimes travelling alone.

He almost couldn't go on his first & last overseas school trip to Fushun, China in May this year. His teachers, including the principal & vice principal tried to dissuade him from going. Yes, they were concerned about his health & the inadequate health facilities, but they were more worried about their added responsibility. Funny they didn't mind that there were worse candidates who were such disgrace to the country. I had to accompany him on the trip & after our return, all hell broke loose.

But to Jaymes, it was the most memorable trip of his life. He made many friends and he saw another part of the world. He had a wonderful experience.

If his time is up, he would leave us, no matter what precautions we take. If his life is intended to be short on earth, then he is to live it as normally as he could and to the fullest.

The past few weeks, we have read about the sudden death of 5 young, healthy men. A specialist doctor has warned me, Jaymes could die in his sleep. So should I be paranoid and have him sleep with me every night, so I could wake up ever so often to check on his breathing? It would be a painless way to go.

Every one has to die one day. The family has talked about it. My parents-in-law are in their 90s. They dote on Jaymes. Their wish is to see Jaymes graduate and get married. They are aware of their limited time on earth but they are fighting hard to see this day. At this moment, if anything happens to Jaymes, these two elderly grandparents are going to go too. Chris & I could imagine 2 big & 1 small coffins next to one another. It's very depressing, but that's life. I have learnt to accept and not be bothered by it.

I wish Jaymes a great time with his Japanese host families and Malaysian friends. His host 'fathers' are all businessmen, one even the head of a big corporation in Japan. Jaymes hopes to improve on his golf too. I hope he behaves himself & remembers our teachings. He will be posting on his blog whenever he has time, we'll see.


  1. What a handsome looking kid..!! and a brave one too..! and so are you..!! I think if i were in your shoes.. i would be overly protective.. and not have given my brat the kinda life she wants or not as fulfilling like the one Jaymes is having.

  2. Thanks for the heart warming post about your son Jaymes. Being a father, albeit of a much younger Ethan at 3 years old, I know the stresses and joys of parenthood. Then again, when he reaches a certain age, it would be best to set them free and let them explore the world. The strong and robust foundation plus values that you guys impart on him will I am sure keep him in good stead.

  3. Hi mamabok!
    Welcome. Glad to hear from you again.
    And thank you for your compliments & encouragement.
    I have learnt to accept, nothing is lasting in this world. I count my blessings and are contented. My family tends to spend more time with one another. It's a chilling thought, but we always take saying our good-byes seriously.

  4. Cool insider
    Your Ethan is so cute, just like Jaymes when he was 3. I could hug and kiss him, now must ask his permission to do those. Let him go, he'll fly! haiz.....