Thursday, September 20, 2007

Lucky wives and aggrieved husbands

My evil twin sister was lamenting that her young male friend didn't find her good enough to be his wife. :P Don't get me wrong. This lady is a great mother and wife to her family. She cooks very well. She is a very lucky lady. She has a husband who pampers her; doing most of the household chore (She doesn't know how to operate a washing machine!!!), making and bringing her coffee every morning while she's 'on the throne'. :D

Most people would think she's a bully. Are you, Judy? hehehe.... Well, I'm sure she loves her hubby as much as he loves her. And how they want to live their married life is none of my or any one's business. That is a very wonderful husband she has and she's the envy of many wives. I'm sure her hubby is so willing to be her slave because she has a certain X factor. Go ask her for the secret.

Now, I have to say something hurtful. The problem with ECL is: I am a wet blanket and I can't help not holding my tongue. hehe..... If my son wants to marry a wife who needs to be pampered all the time and cannot do housework. No way I'm allowing him to marry her.

I don't get along well with my 2 younger brothers' wives. They are lazy and ill-disciplined. They don't come from rich families but they are so pampered, they don't do any housework. After a hard day's work, my brothers have to mop the floor, wash the clothes, feed and bath the kids. And to think we were always fighting over whose turn to mop the floor and wash the dishes when we were young and single.

No homecooked meals at home! Always packed dinners and the weekend dinners at my Mom's house. One of my sister-in-law plays mahjong - everyday, while the other loves to go shopping and travelling. When women get married, family should come first, there are dependants now.

It's such a pity. Both my brothers are good-looking and successful. Destiny plays cruel games sometimes, their wives are plain Janes and not well-educated. One of my brothers is a graduate. I have asked them to get a divorce (yup... so bad of me) but they won't because of the young kids. My brothers are good catches.

Now, you would think my hubby is another aggrieved husband. I really do look and sound the Bully, don't I!?

Surprise! Surprise! I'm actually a traditional Asian woman despite my open views and modern looks. I cook and serve my husband his meals. He doesn't do much housework in the house. I make sure his clothes is washed and nicely ironed to look presentable in front of his clients, business associates and friends. In Asia, it's the face thingy.

The only time he's turned into a sex slave is in our bedroom. And I think he doesn't mind. So do most guys. Right? hahaha.......

............. /to be continued.


  1. Somehow it's always 'plain Janes' (at least to me) in such situations. Feeling insecure perhaps? *shrugs*

  2. I think caring for the kids should be a responsibility of both father and mother lorr...Both hubby and I oso working fulltime and when we get home , I am expected to take over the caring ALONE while he rest away...Though we are very lucky we have maid to do all the cleaning n stuffs. Aiyaks..what have I done here...Sorry hor , pinjam your space to rant a bit..hehe..


  3. Miss Loi,
    Huh!? simi.....

    To me, they are plain Janes, so all the more they should strive
    hard(er) to keep their family happy.

    When couples get married, each one has a part to play. These days, more men are helping out with the household chores and getting more involved in the bringing up of kids. It is a good sign.

    But when wives take advantage of their spouses by making them do their jobs while they play, that's not right. And they are heading for trouble.

    There are so much temptation out there, so don't blame other women who snatched their hubbys away. Those women just know how to please men better.

  4. Eve,
    Yes, both parents have to take responsibility for their kids, not leaving it to one to do the job. And don't leave it to the maid, grandparents, schools or government to do the job.

    Some Asian men are still brought up to think they are lords of their households. They can really be MCPs. That doesn't work in today's society.

  5. I would say I am a traditional woman like you :)(thick skinned la, hehehe...)

  6. Heh heh...nope, of course we don't mind being slaves in the bedroom... :P

  7. lzmommy,
    What's the problem with being a traditional woman!? As long as we are not blindly following silly traditions, it is a virtue.

    You are a wonderful wife and mommy. I would love you if you are my daughter-in-law. :)

  8. ECL, think you misunderstood my comment. I was refering to the plain Janes themselves.

    I have several friends who are in the same situation you have described. In each of these cases, the girls came across as quiet, introverts, anti-social, and of course not really blessed in the looks department (sometimes I feel it's coz they never put in effort in their looks in the first place but I digress).

    So I guess their boyfriend/spouse is their only avenue to feeling superior and be dominant, and I think some of them do this to suppress their own insecurities.

    I believe they do acknowledge the risk of temptation out there (who doesn't?). Just that this is probably their (wrong) way of dealing with it.

  9. Hey Peranakan Dude,
    I bet you enjoy being one... in the bedroom lah! haha......

  10. Miss Loi,
    Thanks for your explanation. The first comment was ambiguous.

    yea, I think I can detect these in the behaviour of my SILs. It is very silly of them to play such games. It could backfire one day.

    And talking about not putting in effort in the caring of their physical appearances, many wives are guilty of that. They don't bother about how they look since they have got their men. They thought that once they have the Marriage Certificate, they are safe. How wrong they are!

  11. That's the kind of life a man would lead if he marries my elder sister.

    Same... cannot even cook rice without accidents, don't know where to put detergent in washing machine... worse! Can't even wash the dishes after she finish eating.

  12. Ed,
    Your elder sister and you are from same parents, right? Why so much difference ah? hehe....

    Didn't your Mom teach her to do household chores so that she is more marketable? :P

  13. haha, sex slave? I can imagine the scene... hot candle wax, bubbly champagne, furry handcuffs, french maid uniform, spandex ropes, corduroy whip, hippopotamus bone...

  14. aiseaman..your SILS damn lucky man. Play mah-jong and go shopping....

    I'm quite plain jane come I don't get to play mah-jong and go shopping leh...... They sure have 'some' x-factor!!!

  15. aiseh! why so unfair one leh? i donno how to cook must learn to cook, never washed clothes before now must wash for 3. don't play mahjong, go shopping also have to kiamsiap for myself, using own money some more! no maid, no daycare!

    where to find hubbies your your brothers and wives like me arr??

    sob sob sob....

  16. mott,
    My brothers were taught to sayang their wives and take care of their families. The two don't know they are so lucky. They married good men, have good parents-in-law and enjoying the fruits of their hubbys. Some women do have great luck!

  17. ecl!!! I don't know where to put my face now! I think instead of my butt being on the throne, my face is in the toilet bowl liow!


    Eh, I also want to marry one of our brothers lah! Wahahahaha, then you will really hentam me !! :))

    What is that certain X factor? You want to know?

    Hiyah, mah abstain from sex lor....then the man will sure do everything for you to get reward.

    Like a lot of vending machines, sex machine also must put money only before you can get your 'product', right? kekekeke....

    May I please have a photo of your brothers?? :P

  18. "Grandmother" already asked me to go sit down and tok tok with her coz...I ALSO DON"T KNOW HOW TO OPERATE THE WASHING MACHINE! But I know how to operate the oven and the microwave and know how to cook, and HE doesn't! Woops! Must split all the chores mah! I believe in specialization...buahahah....

    Aye, you iron the clothes or your maid ? :P

  19. aiyooo sweetpea,
    How come we didn't meet earlier? Heard from motts that you're very hot! :)

    My brothers pampered their wives too much. tsk..

  20. hehe... Judy,
    OMG! Abstain from sex!? Noooooo. Might as well ask me to go slit my wrist! kakakaka......

    Husband and wife, must still pay for sex wan meh. If I have to pay, I'll prefer to get a duck. If my hubby have to pay, I doubt he can afford my price. hahaha....... I dun wanna be treated like a chicken.

    My brothers are too young for you. :P They are my younger brothers.

  21. tigerfish,
    Wah! Grandmother so serious ah. She also dunno how to operate washing machine wor.

    Alamak. You caught me. hehe.... I iron with my eyes and mouth while the maid do the physical work. Can? hahaha.....

  22. I would still expect the man in the house to carry *some* load of housework.

  23. giddy tiger,
    Oh yes. Couples ought to share the responsibilities. I'm sure many men would willingly help out with the household chores when the need arises.

  24. haha... in my house, my dad does the cooking :P

  25. Hi Cloudywind,
    Some men are better at cooking or they enjoy doing it. And cooking is destressing sometimes. :)

    I hope your dad is not forced to do it. haha.....

  26. I really beh tahan seeing those people who take advantage of their spouses (be it the husband or the wife) and act like they are kings or queens of the house, and also those super manja beings (i wonder how they gonna survive in the society if "something" happened to their other half?).

  27. Yeah, I agree with you. Being a wife should know how to do the houseworks and cook a simple meal at least. I do the cooking most of the time and Rick does the dishes. Hehehe. We shared most of the houseworks and it works out very well. (^_^)

    By the way, you got tag! very easy one. hehehe

  28. *shakes chen's hands*
    Great minds think alike! hehe....

    I really beh tahan my SILs. I love my brothers very much and it upsets me to see them slaving over their families.

    If anything happens to their marriages, I'll definitely side my brothers.

  29. hahhaa i almost choke when i read ur last sentence! very funny!!

    ok wat if ur son's wife is lazy..but rich and can afford to hire 2 maids to take care of u and themselves leh?

    and what if he wants to marry 2 gals at the same time? to substitute each other's shortcomings ? heeeeeeeeeee:P lucky him!!

  30. Doreen,
    Husband and wife needs to complement each other mah. Cannot let one person do all the tough work and the other one shake legs.

    Tag!? aiyooo.... must go and see.

  31. winn,
    If my son marries a rich girl and she hampalung pao for me so that I dun have to worry for the rest of my life , I'll just keep my mouth shut. hehehe......

    If my son wants to have more than one wife, I have no objection. Most important is he must be able to handle all the women.

  32. I don't need to elaborate.
    I did my share.

    Thus I pity single mother or father.
    real susah

  33. Wow ... traditional woman who cooks and serves food for husband. Do laundry and housework some more. And got to play the sex slave role. Wow ... where to find? Must send my wife to your "instition" for some training.

    Ha ha ha ...

    As for me and my wife, it is all about shared responsibility. We do housework together (one clean bathrooms and one clean the rest and we take turn). If we cook, either I cook all the dishes and she will wash (or occasionally the other way round). Or I cook the meat dish and she cooks the vegi. We wash the car together ... etc.

    Hmmm .. now .. if I can just sit back play computer game or blog and have food served to my mouth ..

  34. Shame on wives who don't touch any houseworks at all. I think both husband and wife should share the workload, at least my one does something, otherwise...

    So, your husband is happy to be your sex slave... hahaha

  35. When I grow up, I wanna be a wife like ECL... haha...

    Seriously, I don't cook, or rather, there is no need for me to cook at the moment, BUT, I've promised myself that I'll cook (and of cos do everything in btwn) for the love of my life, even if I no like... For Him, I will... waaa... so wai tai liddat...

    Aiyah... too late liao.. I cannot be your SIL liao... haha :p

  36. SOme women are just pure luck that they got good husband.

    I am a traditional Asian woman like you. Lucky for me, my hub doesnt have any expectation from his wife. But I still do most of the house work and cook for him.

  37. alot of women after marriage then show their true color. but some men either remain blind to them or maybe in their hearts, they are resigned to the situation because being good men, they won't leave their wives.

  38. Ok, my fat pig helps me with the mopping and cooking sometimes... I hate to mop!

    Am I a bully??? hehehee

    But hey! I make sure there's warm meal waiting for him when he comes home from Mon-Fri leh!

  39. ermmmm... I believe in share-share lor. but I'd be a slave 'cos I want to willingly serve my (non-existent, for now) husband! ;-)

  40. Some ppl so lucky one hor..?? everything also no need to do..!

  41. Well, maybe they're actually into that master and slave thing? *giggles*

    Seriously I think that a marriage is something that both shall contribute too. Some things can be signed to each one if it's a deal between them, but not all the housework! Never.

    In Sweden we're really brought up in a open way, where both shall do the housework, but it seldom work that way here either. It's either the wife or the hubby that does most of the things, for some unknown reason...

    Except in my home, we do almost everything together and we're having fun while doing it! I guess it's the age.... We've become old and wise.... *giggles*

    Hey, come over and discuss with us:

    The Swedish Faith In God Or Not

  42. yenjai,
    You are such a loving husband and father. Forever the good guy, you would be the one who is rushing to do the household chores.

    Oh yes, the poor single parents, it's really hard to bring up kids on your own.

  43. wilfrid,
    No need to send Cynthia to me lah. She's already a good wife.

    You love your wife very much too, to go all out to get her the special toiletries.

    Both Cynthia and you are right to do stuff together, it's fun isn't it?

    I'm sure Cynthia won't mind indulging you sometimes, feeding you while you blog. hehe....

  44. windy,
    Yes, there are wives who won't lift a finger to do housework. If the family can afford it, they can get a maid. But I know some women who can't afford a maid, yet would leave the household chores to their hubbys, elderly Mothers or even MILs. May thunder strike them!

    Which husband is not happy to be a sex slave leh!? hehehe......

  45. My Angel,
    Cooking and cleaning is easy to learn. You definitely know how to do that. And you don't have to make the house smells and looks like a hospital mah! As long as comfortable and clean enough to live in.

    Love is a funny thing. People can do all sorts of crazy things for love. I'm sure you would make a splendid wife.

    I ask my brothers to divorce their good-for-nothing wives, then you can pick either one. hahaha......

  46. malaika's mummy,
    You are a lucky woman too! You get to travel round the world. :)

    You are blessed with a beautiful daughter and a loving husband. :)

  47. misti,
    Yes... women, and men too, tend to be on their best when they are dating. After marriage, their true colours appear.

    My brothers choose to keep their marriages because of the young children. There are the frequent quarrels and cool wars. I doubt it's good for the kids to see them in such situations too.

    I'm sure if some other ladies shower love and concern on my brothers, their marriages will crumble.

    So bad ah, I'm watching with glee from the side. But I have no pity for people who don't know how to count their blessings.

  48. angeleyes,
    wei.... call your hubby a fat pig! hehe.... you are the one who overfeed him lah.

    Only Mon - Fri!? Weekends he eats grass? So easy to maintain! hahaha.....

  49. May,
    o.O you want to be a slave to your future hubby!? The lucky man!!

    Any guy looking for a beautiful, virtuous, good-tempered and smart lady as a wife, please email me.

    I help you advertise. hehehe....

  50. mamabok,
    Yalor. See already cannot tahan. Especially when I see my Mom picking and washing up after them.

    They would sometimes go to my Mom's place for dinner during weekends. My Mom would be cooking while they watch TV. When dinner is ready, they plonk themselves at the table and eat. After that, leave the dirty dishes and watch more TV. My brothers would help with the washing and cleaning.

    I don't have dinners with them anymore. I can't swallow my food. Then my Dad would be shaking his head and lamenting to me every week.

    I think I need to do some major shaking up!

  51. Captain Lifecruiser,
    Master and slave, as in my hubby and I? hehe.....

    It's wonderful for couples to incorporate fun into our lives, whether at work or at leisure. I always do that. hehe... makes life more interesting and exciting.

    It doesn't matter who does more work when both are contributing to the good of the family. Even distribution of work ensures one doesn't get tired out and fall sick due to overworking. If one care and love for the other, such things shouldn't happen.

  52. You know, this phenomenon is not new. I have met many men who are now not the 'pampered' ones in the household, but the servants.

    I think women's lib has turned on its own head so much that it's now reversed things at home for a start.

    Now, I am not saying that women should not have rights. They should, but if the premise of the women's lib was to fight for equal rights, then woah! they should give themselves a pat on the back for far exceeding that.

    No, I don't advocate keeping my wife pregnant and bare-foot in the kitchen. In fact, I am the one who does the cooking at home.

    However, there must be a balance, for that is what equal rights is all about in the first place.

    And you're right, these issues are strictly between the husband and wife, not our business. But I believe that the Bible teaches best since I am a Christian.

  53. sicarii,
    I'm also a Christian, albeit a new-age one. My grandmother and parents thought me my Asian values, which isn't too far from what the Bible teaches.

    I agree that some women have gone too far from the initial good cause of the women's lib.

    It's so common nowadays to see men being treated like servants. Some hold high ranking posts in government offices (hehe... want to know who???) and even the Bosses of listed companies.

    The ladies can kill me if they want for saying this.

    Women are the weaker sex. There are still certain things that the guys can do and we can't. By all means, do your best to surpass the boys and fight for the same rights, but give the boys their due respect.

    All living things are made to perform a specify job on earth. With wide education and as we gain more knowledge, humans try to play God. They try to reverse lotsa stuff. It can cause havoc.

    A man has got to be a man. A woman shouldn't humiliate him to show that you are more superior even if you posses a stronger character and earn better.

    Young men and women I meet these days are so different from 20 years ago. The guys are more educated, accommodating and oh boy, some can really cook and clean house! The gals... sigh.

    Sometimes I do wonder if these guys are trained by women (their mothers & gfs)? hmmmm......

  54. ecl, aaaaah, tigerfish caught you out!

    If I have maid in England hor, I also iron with my eyes and mouth mah. My husband will be King of the castle!

    I will ask maid to do everything for him in terms of ironing, dish washing, laundry....

    Then everyday, my lau ang and I can go paktoring lor....

    Hiyah, you tell half the story, you don't tell the other half, mana eh sai? :))

    I will still do all the cooking though cos that is how I like to keep it.

  55. Judy,
    My maid only does the cleaning, washing and laundry.

    I go marketing and do the cooking. Hubby and I will do our gardening on weekends. Hubby and son wash car together.

    Every one in the house makes their own bed and tidies their own room.

    Every one has something to do. We help out the maid. You have only 4 members in your house. I have a big gang leh. How to go paktor!

  56. wei we same same ah.....

    But then my hubby dun like to my slave in the room wor...

  57. eastcoastlife,
    You really posted this up! hahaha!

    I read lots of comments and I agree most with your reply to sicarii. Most gals tend to claim "nan nv ping deng" these days but certainly, there's things gals can't do and guys can do. However, I've to admit that, some of the things can only be done by gals and not guys; give birth. hahaha!

    Anyway, my personal opinion is, both share the responsibilities. But of course, who doesn't want to sit down, relax and not doing any work right? :P

  58. tink it's common tat girls these days dun do housework... sad eh...

  59. sasha,
    Which part we same same? Make men our sex slaves? muahahahaha....

    You need me to teach you some tricks anot? Email me. hehehe....

  60. Poppy Kok,
    Yes, I told Judy I would post it up. So ta-da!!! hehehe....

    All males are not made to give birth mah. I doubt any man would want to have that ability. :)

    Any one who wants to enjoy life must have the capability mah. Work hard, make lotsa money so that he or she can employ workers to fok see (serve) them. :)

  61. Let's just say... people are ruled by money these days. And that becomes laziness.

    Why cook when you can buy outside?
    Why do chores when you can hire a domestic helper?
    Why go market since they deliver to your doorstep?

    The list goes on and on... you know.

  62. Hello pinkie,
    Long time no see. :)

    Many families have maids or the kids are too precious that the adults do everything for them.

  63. Ed,
    Yes, it's so convenient and these days we don't have much time left for leisure after doing our chores.

    We work hard to make money and then pay for others to clean our sh*t. :)

  64. Destiny plays cruel games? so very true!!
    im glad my brother divorced such lazy wife. but hes been single for 10 yrs after that.
    u are such a lovely wife :)

  65. Niki-chan,
    Is your brother looking for another wife? Not for me. I'm not available. hehe.....

  66. LOL!!
    u look like his type. too bad for him...

  67. niki-chan,
    Ahhhh..... hahaha.. would love to meet you and your brother one day. And today's his birthday!?

    Happy Birthday to Niki-chan's brother!