Monday, April 30, 2007

Men who fear their wives 怕老婆的男人

Are there men who fear their wives? Yes. I'm talking genuine FEAR!

Men would never admit to being fearful of their wives. Just like I would never admit to being old. lol....

I have seen men who are CEOs, wealthy businessmen, politicians, top civil servants behaving like a scaredy cat in their wives' presence. Some wield great power in the corporate world but when it comes to their wives, they turn into mice. Not a squeak from them when their wives speak. hehehe.....

I was once invited by a business associate's wife to their home for dinner. He is the President of several corporations in Taiwan and China. The wife is an elegant and cultured lady. Dinner started off on a good note but as the evening progressed, it got unbearable because the wife was deriding her man all the time.

She not only criticised the types of friends he made and his business deals but ridiculed him on his lack of taste in his purchases, his golf games... etc. Mr President just ate his food in silence and smiled weakly. I won't be surprised if she gets chop up and buried in the garden one day. hehe....

A top civil servant does not dare to venture out in the night without his wife's permission. And he has to submit details of the person he's going out with and where they are going. She would call him on his mobile to check from time to time and even asks to speak to his friend.

One night, he drove his wife to a friend's house near my place for mahjong and he got permission to ask my hubby out for dinner at Katong. They had chicken rice, then satay, then Katong Laksa .... while waiting for his wife to finish her game.

Chris couldn't bear to leave him alone to wait by himself, so he kept him company. The two of them stayed at the food stall for more than 5 hours! The man didn't have permission to wait in our house and he dare not interrupt his wife by calling her mobile. *smack my forehead*

Some husbands do get beaten up by their wives. And the strange thing is, the wife is smaller-sized than him. No man's gonna admit he gets bashed by his wife.

My Indonesian friend, Hari would like to declare that he is 'terrified' of his wife. He gets dragged to their bedroom whenever he returns home to Singapore. Turning 40, Dewi has a greater appetite for sex. And she would 'drain' him with her unsatiable demands. That is Domination Day, Hari! Many men would love that. lol....

Women become terrors because the men spoil them. There are no bad women in the world. The more the men spoil a woman, the worse she becomes. Husbands should respect their wives, not fear them. If a man is confident and firm, his woman would not dare to sh*t on his head.

A smart wife should gain her husband's respect. The ignorant woman instils fear in her man. A confident husband respects his wife. A wimpy husband is frightened of his wife, and both are as ignorant.

When is a man fearful of his wife? Even when his wife has unreasonable demands, yet he has no qualms pandering to her wishes. He even tones down his voice when he speaks to her, trying his best to keep a smiling face.

Why does he fear his wife? What is there to fear? His wife normally has these characteristics : aggressive, dictatorial, unreasonable, arrogant, thinks highly of herself... etc. Men are automatically reduced by half when they meet such women. They can't beat these women even though they are right.

I sympathise with the poor hen-pecked husbands. Why get married when it is going to be so miserable? Oh, maybe some men like to lead such lives, being dominated by the weaker sex. hahahaha......
Guys, open your eyes wide when looking for a wife.


  1. I have added you in my technorati fave. Tkhs.

  2. awful hot mama and it's just as bad as a man treating his wife this respect!


  3. Hello Tisha Hot Babe!
    You're right. That's no way to treat anybody.

    hugs n kisses

  4. Like I always say : When human faced with 'love', they are very often blinded.

    p/s poke poke ECL. Hoi. I still come here daily lar

  5. no backbone hor...I feel bad for the husbands...

  6. hee hee tats ticklish lah, yenjai!
    I'm scared of koochi koochi...

    I know lah! Can see your avatar. hehe...

    Love is blind,only the romantics say this. You're one right. :P

  7. eve,
    You seem to be the opposite hor. hehehe..... :P

    (Derive from your posts. Dun hantam me arh.)

  8. There is just no accounting for taste! I better go and touch some wood now.. just in case!

  9. I guess its down to mutual respect. Never make your spouse look small or lose "face" in front of people, especially friends.

  10. Eastcoastlife, actually women aren't the weaker sex. I suppose men and women are made differently, to serve different purposes.

    About men who fear their wives and wives who control their husbands too tight, I sense that there is either a power-and-control-issue or a lack of trust that have led to this spiral-down cycle.

    Hey, who knows maybe the man is just trying to use the wife as an excuse?

  11. Oh Hi fleck.
    Long time no see.

    You're right. We have to respect our other half and it is not nice to belittle them in front of friends, colleagues or business associates.

  12. Hello ECL, love your post. Very interesting topic. I guess sometimes the husband loves the wife very much he becomes very subservient, "yes darling, No darling". Ini not my glass of ice kopi. Thats carrying too much baggage.
    Yes, I too have met my fair share of 'queen control' husbands. I have a young friend, married 3 years ago, we recently learned he has to do the laundry, thats okay....BUT hand washing her 'stuff'? Everynight!! And he a 3rd dan black belt in Tae Kwan Do!!
    Another fellow has a list of his friends he calls on the phone printed out and pasted in the kitchen note board. God and whoever help him if he says going to play poker and not at one of these homes.
    Love should be love, not slavery, subservient, whatever.
    I sayang my wife, still hold her hands when going walkabouts,(and we almost at Twilight zone too) and she will joke with her femail friends, "the day Lee does not look at girls, thats the day I get worried, either going blind or I have to buy black dress".
    No nagging allowed. Talk, boleh, discuss, debate boleh. Argue also can. But strictly no nagging, or else dia duduk bus! (She can't drive! Ha ha).
    Luckily young bachelor days managed to 'check out' a lot of SYT's resumes first. Ha ha.
    You have a great day, ECL.

  13. Abuse is abuse. There is no difference when a woman abuses a man then when a man abuses a woman. So people get a sick pleasure out of making other people fearful of them. These are the people who are afraid to let themselves be open to a truly loving relationship. They a fear that goes deep. We need to pray for these individuals.

  14. oceanskies,
    Yes, most women are no more the weaker sex. But men still think we are. hehe...

    The man is clearly not using his wife as an excuse. We know him for years now. He really reports his every move to his honey. hehehe....

  15. Uncle Lee,
    Long time no see liao. Ho boh?

    Alamak! How can let a man wash a woman's personal stuff? Can suay wan, you know.

    You and your wifey still lovey-dovey ah. And she can still tahan you, that means you still controllable lah. hahaha...

    Lovely sweet wife you have there, understanding & tolerant, hehe...
    Don't bully her lah! I also cannot drive. hehe....

    That's why for my son, I advise him to check out more SYTs first before settling down. Uncle Lee is a good example huh. hehehe....

    Have a great week ahead Uncle Lee.

  16. Teacher Dave,
    Some people get a sick pleasure out of making other people fearful of them..... are afraid to let themselves be open to a truly loving relationship.

    I agree with you. I'll pray for those who needs to be more open in a loving relationship.

  17. Just have to do the respect part at the right place and right time lah!
    It's either hen-pecked husbands or MCP-大男人, both are extremes.
    Sometimes(not all the times), it's ok for women to appear more 小女人 in front of especially husband's frens to give face a bit(and make a contrast that husband is not hen-pecked). But appearing 小女人 does not mean the women is dumbo lah!

  18. tigerfish,
    Speaking from experience? hehehe...

    I think it is in our culture (Chinese especially) that either the guys are MCP or hen-pecked. MCPs getting lesser liao, due to re-educating by the women. hahaha.... I prefer the 小女人 role.

  19. Some observations from my group of friends:

    1. Wife > Husband because Wife earns more than Husband (many cases due to 3-yr NS lag)

    2. Vice versa, Husband > Wife (worst cases are those wives who are jobless and stay at home to look after kids)

    3. A number of those who married their first and only bfren/gfren have high chance of encountering unequal expectations, wrong frequencies, personalities clash, true colours come out etc.

  20. miss loi,

    So my readers would get some ideas by now how to avoid such situations in future.

  21. Having a bull whip helps too. Uh. Until she takes it from you. *kerack!*


  22. I donch beat up PB.. hahhaa!! and i donch scream too.. i lay guilt trips on him.. even though.. i tell myself not too.. hhahahaha!! that's even worst.. i think..!!

  23. It shows that the power behind the throne is not always where one might think.

  24. I guess I'm not a very good wife - I would make my man 'loss his face' only if I'm angry. Even my mom told me not to do that... need to control my temper really. Well, I only live with him for almost 3 years and am still learning about married life...

    Please don't judge me! *beg*

  25. No no, I dun sympathise with the hen pecked husbands, I wish I can be de dominating wife! hahaha...

  26. Not experience, but from general observations hahahhah!
    怕老婆的男人会发财...we have not 发财 yet you say leh ? LOL!

  27. i asked myself the question whether i fear my wife. yes, i do. if she leaves me, i b left only a shell. she has this power but she supports me in my endeavours and doesnt manipulate this weakness of mine.

    we leave each other some private space.

  28. Strange that these mostly happen to Chinese families. Even the advertisements on the radio seem to portray that wives are more dominant. The worst case is when the wife is less-educated and does not have a job (housewife). I've seen a few examples even among my relatives.

  29. And one more thing - The traditional Chinese culture *seem* to teach the women to be 'strong' so as not to be bullied by the males (in particular, boyfriends or husbands). And success is usually measured in terms of how dominant she is towards her husband.

  30. interesting topic.
    "Women become terrors because the men spoil them. There are no bad women in the world. The more the men spoil a woman, the worse she becomes."
    It is true but strange when not only you but many female friends of mine say the same!

  31. simple american,
    You have a whip!!! I am contemplating buying one. Imagine the power I'll be wielding in the boardroom and bedroom! hahaha....

  32. hahaha mamabok!
    Guilt traps! That won't get you to Heaven, you know. hehehe....

  33. Hi Captain Picard!
    the power behind the throne is not always where one might think

    Yes, and isn't it interesting when you know it and use it to your fullest advantage! ;P

  34. Oh Windy,
    You are newly married, well, only 3 years... so there's lots to learn. hehehe...

    It's funny that we tend to lose our temper with people who we are closer to or whom we know well. When we should actually be the nicest to them. They don't deserve our crap.

    But because we know they won't hold it against us, we tend to hurt them again and again. I'm guilty of such behaviour to my parents, husband and son. I should not have excuses. I try to make up whenever I could and try to curb my temper. I barely pass as a wife, mother and daughter. :(

  35. pinkie!
    hehe... you want to be the dominating wife? You can never be, you're too gentle and sweet!

  36. tigerfish,

    我怕老公哦! hahaha...

  37. Paddy,
    Catch no ball? I invited you to join StumbleUpon wor. Let me check what's happening.

  38. awwww.....bengbeng!
    That's touching and sweet. I'm sure your wife will smile when she sleeps. :)

    That's the respect in marriage we are talking about here. Best wishes and may you two live happily ever after!

  39. narrowband,
    For a young single guy, you're pretty observant huh.

    You are right. So does that make you fearful of marriage? hehe....

  40. Dear Georgie,
    That only means one thing,
    you guys should never argue with the women when it comes to 'Who wears the pants in the house?'

    OK, even if the guys do wear the pants in the house, it's the women who control your zippers! hahahahaha....

  41. Some people wanna be hen-pecked also no chance. Sighzzz...

    But yea, what's more dreadful are bosses who are hen-pecked at home and goes to work, drained themselves off the frustration by welding it against his staffs. I have had 2 such bosses in all my years, and it ain't good honestly! Sad but true.

  42. Ha ha... another interesting topic. Fortunately, I can safely say that me and my wife have a mutually respectful relationship. I think when one ends up running down the other - be it your wife, husband, child, parents or in-laws - it is a clear sign of decay and danger in your relationships with those who matter the most.

    A family should be positive influences for each other. We should edify, encourage, and embrace each other. Destructive acts like criticising each other, character assassination and being overly suspicious will only whittle away at the core of family life.

  43. walau Ed!
    If you put a post up that you are looking for a wife, I bet the queue would be from Takashimaya to Cineleisure! hahaha....

    Wah! To have hen-pecked bosses already malu (embarrassed) but to transfer their frustrations to their staff is horrendous! Lucky I'm a peck-cock boss! :D

  44. cool insider,
    Having seen you and your wife, I am glad to say that you both are a model couple. And Ethan is gonna grow up a happy and healthy (in mind n heart) man who will have fond memories of his ever-loving parents!

  45. You gotta be kidding... you "see me too up". They are all queuing up to diss me in public, that's what you didn't know. LOL!

  46. What I can't understand is what keeps the relationship going for this couple? What makes him stay with her if he is so patrified of her?


  47. Ed.. Ed!
    Better to see you up than down, right?

    There are lots of good girls out there, gems waiting to be discovered. I'm sure you would have no problem finding them. But the question would be, do you want them?

  48. Hi Judy!
    Sorry if you have not been able to comment the past few weeks. Thanks for coming back.

    Which one? The civil servant? The wife is from one of the elite families in Singapore. Divorce is out of the question. Plus, the pros outweigh the cons if he stays in the marriage.

    If I say anymore, his identity would be exposed! lol....

  49. That's a very nice way of saying "do they want me?" wahahahaha...

    *rub eyes*

    I can't believe you are awake at this hour.

  50. I can't believe you are awake at this hour too! :)

    I'm going to sleep now. Have to finish reading some reports. Have meetings tomorrow morning. Good night.

  51. I do agreed some men scared of their wife. I got one friend whenever his wife called him on the handphone, he would straight away rushed down, that made his wife lose respect of him and look down on him.

    The more men give ways to their wife unreasonably. They will loss their dinities. I think it true for both parties.

    I think the men you described, needed to assert themselves more. So they can gain the respect of their wives.

  52. Know of one such guy. When he is out with us, he talks so much...a bit hao lian at times. But when he was with his wife, almost nothing came out of his mouth! We were shocked, coz that was the 1st time we met her. And she isnt even the assertive or aggresive sort!!

  53. Henry,
    I guess when men choose to give in to their wives, it's very hard for them to change anything later. The women would have gotten bolder and used to having her ways. There's no turning back, that's why men are having more affairs and marriages are breaking up. The extreme cases would be : murder.

  54. stay-at-home mum,
    People don't have to look like a dominating spouse or muderer to be one. hehehe... What does a fearsome wife looks like? Fat, bulging eyes, flaring nostrils, wide mouth that hurls abuses and gives out orders muahahahaha....

    There's a Chinese saying that : A silent dog has the worse bite.

  55. Liddat... one day can explode one lerr... scary or not?

    Even if the lou poh is the one who is suppressed.. one day also can explode one.

    Thanks for the thought.. I'll check and see whether this is a possible scenario.. hmmm..

  56. hehe Bernard,
    You scared or not? Think carefully lor.

    Actually if I'm your wife, I'll be more scared than you, because you hold the scalpel mah! hahaha....

  57. Its hard to know another person inside out and its even harder to stay together under one roof with another person with perhaps a totally different upbringings and mindset. I guess it needs more than just love but also mutual understanding, respect, TRUST and life-long effort. Share more of ur experience with us =)

  58. zeezee,
    It's true that to keep a relationship or marriage going, it requires more than love. We need to have passion, be considerate and be understanding as well. We must know that we come from different family backgrounds and that we have to accept each other's shortcomings. We must not take each other for granted. As long as the two of you can 'work' towards the same goal, to have a long-term harmonious relationship, you should be able to achieve it.

  59. no no, one can be, if you meet the right man... one you can bully! haha...

  60. pinkie!
    I'm shocked! You want to be a bully!? muahahahaha...

  61. In StumbleUpon, you can recommend a good site that you come across and give some comments on it.

    This increases the opportunities for others to visit your website too in the future esp when it is rated good. Which yours is one of those good ones.

    Just play around with it :)

  62. Hi Paddy!
    I was fiddling with StumbleUpon these 2 days and I didn't see this feature. Have to check it out again.

    Thanks for the recommendation. :)

  63. Everyone should respect each other, be it husband or wife. If continue on being suppressed like that, sure will explode one day, just like a time bomb.. LOL

  64. chen,
    Yes, I agree with you. There are actually quite a lot of time bombs walking around us. Hard to identify though. hehe....