Tuesday, February 27, 2007

A gift for Jaymes

I am putting my life in a book specially for my son Jaymes. After my near-death experience due to a mosquito's sting, I want to leave something of me for my son, so he could know his mother better. I know. He would prefer the house or cash, but before he gets those, he needs to learn how to cherish them. (And he will be tested on it. If he fails, then everything goes to charity.) hahahaha........

There are many things I want to teach him and so much to say to him, but I might not be able to say what I want should something happen to me. So writing it down would be good. I hope he reads it and pass it on to his grandchildren, not use the pages to wipe his ass. hahaha....

For the next few posts, I would like to share some stories from my book. I am not an outstanding businesswoman, I'm just an ordinary woman wanting to give my son a better life. It shows how I overcome the odds and how I did it while raising a son. I would like my son to appreciate what he has and learn from my experiences. And because I eat salt more then he eats hamburgers, he should seriously heed my advice. (Jaymes, don't let Mom hammer it into your numbskull! Oops, did I just threaten him.)

There are a lot of things which I hid from Chris. No, don't try to discredit me. I didn't do anything that would hurt him. I kept the bad things from him so that he needn't have to worry about me. Things that he won't like to hear and that could make him sad or angry, but those are all in the past now. He will be hearing this for the first time.

Because I'm a girl, I wasn't taken seriously when I started my own business. I was put down. I was humiliated. I was threatened. I was verbally abused. I was conned. I had doors slammed in my face. The amount of rejections I get was uncountable. I just gritted my teeth and ploughed on. I had to swallow my tears and put on a smile. Whatever pride I have, the wealthy and powerful will always find ways to trample on it. To some of them, the poor is just not human. These, were not taught in school. And I was not prepared for the ways of the world.

I have my own methods of teaching my son. I dislike what the school teaches. It should just keep to the educating part and not try to teach my son values that even the educators themselves do not follow. Lots of hypocrisy in our schools.

I wanted Jaymes to drop out of school. He's not cut out to be an academic. He would be better being a businessman. And to be a businessman, he needs to be able to take the shit in life and turns it into gold.

To me, success is not about wealth or power. My priority is to bring up my son who can take care of himself and his beloved, and not having to depend on handouts. In Singapore, nobody really cares for you, the government only wants to fix you. You have to be your own master.........


  1. Life is one HELL of a B****, isn't it, Jayne? Jaymes is lucky to have a mum like you. And yes, Chris too.

    But what did they say? That behind every storm is a silver lining (and perhaps a rainbow!) Go find your rainbow, Jayne....

    How do I leave a message on Twitter? Sorry for being such a "dimwit", must I get an account first?

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. Sign up for an account first, dimwit! hehe...hahaha....

    I ever email you about this service wat! You are another one who dun read my emails!

  4. In my blog community,i found lots of moving stories.you are the one.

  5. Hi bubbles,ink
    I have scheduled another 10 posts for the next 2 week!

  6. Hi pinkie,
    Let's learn from each other. OK? Ladies unite!!!

  7. *Applauds ECL*

    I agree with so much that you have written here. Schools need to get out of the values department beyond common courtesy and classroom discipline for respecting the teachers and classmates time to learn. It is a parents job to give values. In my country it seems that the gahman wants to usurp that role in so many ways and at different levels. And they have access to innocent children during schooltime and I dislike that I have to recode my kids when they come home with the misleading junk that is passed on.

    Your thoughts on success are right on too. There is no joy or motivation provided by a government hand out. In fact it can lead to the crazy thoughts that fill society. A person that earns their money through hard work has a better chance of maintaining a firm grip of reality. Better yet to be your own master so that you do not have to depend on others. And a blessing when you make so much that you can choose to share with others.

    I wish you well with your book. Will this just be a private volume? I think it would be interesting for my daughter to read. (My son too) But I try to show my girl as many strong woman as possible. I know she will have some fights to face in the years to come and I like her to read of others struggles to provide her with strength and hope.

  8. That was a great rational behind the book when I tripped and fell into this blog.

    Thanks to our society's form-up, money + paper = success. I clearly dropped out of my polytechnic many years ago because I refused to go in line with this ideology. Of course, many said I was stupid since I was already in my 2nd year. But now I have something to be proud of, I haven't take my own life jumping onto MRT track to escape from my life while my peers are still complaining.

    My auntie made her daughter dropped out in primary school to pursue ballet in China for 9 years. She came back topping the class, being the youngest ballet instructor ever in Singapore back then at age 18.

    Evidently, it's the quality and joy in what we do that makes life worth living. Not riches nor power, which can be lost overnight.

    I applaud your move, you're a great mum.

  9. What a marvelous idea sweetheart! I look forward to reading all about your adventures!! mouaaaaaaaaah

  10. I so completely disagree with you about the values part.

    In Chinese we say 教育。 教 = teach, instruct (knowledge). 育 = raise up, cultivate.

    Of course the primary responsibility of teaching values lies with the parents. But, are you sure you want to leave all the "values" part to parents? How many Sporean parent can handle that as well as you and your husband. (By the way, you have only 1 kid?). So many of our Spore parents don't even spend time to eat dinner with their children; so much so that our govt has to run a campaign to encourage parents to eat at least one dinner a week with their children. Many Sporean parents don't even know what is going on in the lives of their children and simply push all 育 part to the teachers. Others can't even manage their own lives, getting into all sorts of difficulties. Divorce rates are at all time high.

    I send my children to MGS and ACS. And I am so grateful that the principal and teachers there take their "values" duty seriously; making lots of personal sacrifices in the process.

    Of course I recognize that you have your own outlook on this issue. So it is good that nowadays there are more variety of schools so we can choose.

  11. Hi Eastcoastlife, thank you very much for sharing. I hope that Jaymes would appreciate the invaluable life experiences that you are trying to share with him. A legacy.

  12. Hey there, this single post somehow triggers me to want to write a lot on what you mentioned, but this is just the comment section so will just leave it as it is.

    Most likely if Izel and I have kid(s) we wont like to enrol him/her into the Singapore education system too. Too productized.

    The first thing that we will teach them will be Street Smart on theories first then throw them to the real world to learn the practical hands-on.

    This shape them up on the skills sets that will or hopefully make them a good business person.

  13. I agree with chun see. But I also agree that teachers must follow the values they attempt to instill into our children. And we must do more to winnow out the control freaks.


  14. i thought you are a teacher? when become businesswoman pulak?

  15. Hi SA,
    I guess because both of us take an interest in our children's life and also we care for the society we live in, we tend to see more than others who are too involved in the rat race.

    My book will be a private volume. There are too many private details and names of people.

    The posts that I am putting up have been edited and names of the people changed or omitted.

    I'm sure it will be very interesting to get your hands on the actual volume. But I have no plans to release it. It will be up to Jaymes if he wants to one day.

  16. Hi endoh taiki,
    Nice to 'meet' you!

    Life is what you make of it. You can make it good or you can mess it up.

    Jaymes being young, has no choice but to listen to his elders and authority in his school. I having the knowledge and the means, have to do my best to guide and assist him in wherever I could. I do not want people to mess up his life.

    I believe without a formal education, nobody's going to die or starve to death if they can help themselves.

    I wish you happiness and success in whatever you do.

  17. Mr Lam,

    I have only one son. I instil in him the much-touted values when he was young. Then I discovered, teachers and principals and even the big-guns in MOE are not doing what they preach. Fark these hypocites! They shall not touch my son!

    Our schools are just factories producing the type of pupils the gahmen want. I shudder to think what type of future leaders the schools are producing. Wee Shu Mins???

    I'm in the education industry for the past 20 years. I know many things which the ordinary citizens have no access to. I myself am the victim of such oppressions and cover-ups.

    If your son is in ACS(I), good luck! There are things that the ordnary citizens don't know. The authorities hope to keep it that way. Right, they can silence me. But the truth is out there, I send what I know to my friends all over the world. hahaha..... how many times can they kill me?

  18. Hi PY,
    I'm just trying to keep Jaymes from being part of a madness. He has only this life to live and he need not have to go through it like me. Of course he has to make mistakes in order to learn, this is not tolerated in our schools!

    I want him to have happiness always.

  19. Victor,
    I'm not selling, not only this but everything about me! hehehe....

  20. Hello ang mo kio brother!
    Kids you should have la! But not have them to boost population or for bonus package!

    I'm sure you having gone through the Singapore school system, you know what's it's like. It's not fit for humans, much more for young children.

    I like your ideas. This is not an inducement for you to follow my example. hehe.......

  21. Hi SauerKraut,
    I always value your comments. You are such a dear!

  22. Dear michelle,
    I'm still a teacher, although I response better to Master. hahaha....

    Going into buisness was planned. Initially, it was purely for the financial gains. Didn't gain much wealth but lots of scars! hahaha......

  23. Fair enough. Thanks for sharing the parts that you have. :)