More than 80% of secondary students in Singapore have never talked about sex to their parents. Why not? I wonder.
Jaymes was given the 'birds & the bees' facts when he was only 11. He has often seen Chris & I in the nude. Oh, he finds our naked bodies repulsive! hehehe..... He is taught to look at naked bodies as an art & to be able to appreciate it. And sex is not a dirty thing. It is normal to have sex. It should be viewed as a sports that is widely enjoyed by many at any time & any place in the world.
I remember when he was 11, I brought him to Melbourne for a holiday and we were in a bookshop. I was looking at some books when he pulled me to a corner where they sell postcards & books showing naked bodies of women in various suggestive postures.
"Mom, let's get these for Dad!" he exclaimed excitedly.
I did not drag him away. We stayed to admire the pictures & guessed which one Daddy would like. I didn't buy any because I would have problems bringing them in at our Singapore Customs & Immigration.
I went into the full details of sex when he was 14. He scored high marks for his school biology test on Reproductive Organs. hahaha..... He has seen the 'Tammy video'. A boy in his school had downloaded it onto his cellphone & went around showing his friends & school mates. Jaymes found it disgusting because it was crudely made.
As a growing teenager, Jaymes is curious about sex & pornography too, but he does not intentionally search for it. He knows he could come to me if he wants to know more. He has watched movies that are uncensored (showing violence & nudity, there is sex but I wouldn't say that is pornography) when we were in the States & Australia. And oh, he was exposed to porn on TV during the recent Japan trip. Was I alarmed? No.
I know that he would want to watch these at some point of his life. Rather than let him look for it behind my back & get all the wrong information. I let him watch & answer his queries.
I laughed when a teacher in his school wanted me to write a note stating that I have watched the VCDs, "The Last Emperor" & "Kill Bill" together with Jaymes. The VCDs were loan to him. There were nudity & violent scenes which require 'parental guidance'. Little did the teacher know, this is 'chicken feed' to Jaymes.
Quite recently, I set him on an experiment on the seedier side of life in Singapore. That set some people howling on my educational method. It's unconventional, yes, but it's a fact of life. And with the amount of AIDS and sexual diseases these days, it's better to educate our kids on sex.
Jaymes is non-chalant to sexy pictures, not tee-ko (lecherous) or embarrassed when he sees them. We can watch a TV programme with bed scenes together without scrambling to block it from him. And we share many sex jokes together.
When he has a girlfriend middle of last year, I wanted to put a condom in his school bag. Not to encourage him to have sex but to prepare him for the unexpected. He was horrified & promised that he would not have sex before he turns 18. I just want him to be prepared in case his raging hormones get the better of him. But little did I know that having the condom in his school bag would have got him into a lot of trouble. Had the school found out, he would have been punished. So much for sex education in our schools.
For your info, I did not have the chance to put a condom in his school bag, because Jaymes would not have it. He was more afraid his image would be shattered if his girlfriend found out that he is prepared with a condom. hahaha.....
I think no mother is going to let their daughters come near Jaymes after this post. Poor guy! hahaha.....