Monday, August 11, 2008

Don't leave Hell without a Hell passport and credit card! - WS#36


I had the most hilarious shopping trip with my Dad on Saturday. It was no ordinary shopping trip, we were shopping for our dead ancestors.

Times for the living are bad so my Dad presumes it is worse down below. He voiced his concerns which the owner of the incense shop agreed heartily and proceeded to bring out his best stuff reserved for 'his more caring customers'. (最有爱心的顾客!哈)

I didn't know the dead need a passport to travel. hahaha...... and Malaysia Airlines is so enterprising!! I'll think twice about booking with the airline, what if the one seated next to me is not human!? My Dad was lamenting there is no China airlines as he wanted to send them to watch the Beijing Olympics. duh.

He insisted on getting the whole set of travel documents which costs S$5 only. I tried hard to dissuade him because by giving them a cheque book and credit card, we would be responsible for their bills. I don't want the Hell bank employees to chase me for payments in the middle of the night!! So scary!

I'm giving Dad the money and responsibility of handling my ancestors' financial affairs. Hope the creditors from Hell don't come after me! *shiver*


Blazer (S$5), new Polo tees (S$1 each) and shoes (S$3) for Grandpa. The white packet is underwear. Yes, spirits need underwear too! Don't laugh. We got him a mobile phone, watch and branded wallet. I told Dad to never give out my contact number to them. ish.


For Grandma, nice floral blouses (S$1 each), new shoes (S$3) and underwear (S$1) too. And some jade jewellery (S$5). My Dad wanted to get her an LV bag, but for her safety I put it back. Lie low, better not be too much of a show off or else there will be no end of trouble in Hell. And I can't go down to settle matters for them!!

Before we left with our bags of shopping, my Dad spotted a laptop. Noooo!!! My God! Who's going to teach them to use it!?




77 comments:

  1. That sounds great! Those are sure good stuff for your ancestors.

    Mine is up here

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  2. Hi beau femme,
    Thanks for stopping by. Great stuff indeed.... hehe...

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  3. my rainbow angel,
    yalor... but I don't want to go down take a look. @.@

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  4. I've burnt those passports before for my grandmothers..and I got suaned!! Someone told me "you forgot the visa!" *smack.head*

    This year's 7th month seem pretty quiet hor...

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  5. I"m sure they have Community Centres 6 feet under which organises IT courses to promote s'pore govt's life(-after-death-)long learning policy ma!

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  6. napaboaniya,
    It comes in a package wor! How can you not get the Visa?

    Times are bad, the living scale down on their celebrations. I heard many who bid last year couldn't pay for their items now. A lot of bad debts. tsk tsk tsk.....

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  7. sho,
    You sure? I hope so.

    Very likely the Singapore Government also takes care of their citizens down below... hehehe....

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  8. I know that tradition. My mother bought for my dead grandparents. The are creative :D

    Mine in here : Celebrate Jason‘s birthday Thanks

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  9. juliana,
    Oh, so your parents practise this too. :)

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  10. wow! u sure know a lot about such things!!! Yeap, my family also stand by a lot for this Fri offering.

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  11. Wah...very the interesting! What a cool yet scary shopping spree that was he he!

    I like how ur Dad wanted to send ur Grandpa to watch the Olympics, so thoughtful. I'm sure ur grandparents will be very happy with all the lovely gifts. He he...better not get that laptop though! ;)

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  12. Hi rose,
    I learn these customs and traditions from my grandmother and elders. :)

    We are also having a huge offering. Later the whole clan having a feast. hehe...

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  13. mariuca,
    haha.... my Dad was so fascinated with the stuff and he found the prices so cheap! Gosh, they are all paper!

    No, no laptop. I'm scared of the mobile and credit card, later got email from Hell..... Mati!!

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  14. you can do it eastcoastlife! hahaha... do the laptop 101!

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  15. I enjoyed this post very much! Be as good to yourself as you are to the ancestors!

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  16. the dong,
    Ahhhh.... no! No laptop!
    I don't want msn every now and then and comments on my blog posts!!!
    *shivers*

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  17. sandy,
    haha... thanks.
    yes, we need to be good to our ancestors as well!

    Hope they bless me with more wealth. Oops. hehe....

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  18. No package when I bought leh, all were loose items.

    I guess the 中远节 dinner would be pretty quiet without much people bidding. Maybe all will be concentrating on their food rather than the stage items!! :P

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  19. napaboaniya,
    Oh... I bought at Rochor Centre, it's cheaper there.

    Less people are bidding and less items for bidding. Bad economy also has hit the 'good brothers'. :P

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  20. That sounds like an interesting custom and this post was hilarious.

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  21. You didn;t buy them a handphone??? Can call u and give you lottery numbers!!! LOL!!!

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  22. oh yeah, this is really something! I have seen these things too, and nowadays, you have almost everything too, just like how you would shop for those still alive. I have seen a foot massage and mercedes coupe once (last year and the family was our neighbour).

    hmm now I would be thinking the same whenever we fly with MAS. LOL scary thought!

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  23. heh yes good stuff for ancestors. Mine is up...

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  24. Very funny story, eastcoast! You and your Dad seem to have a lovely relationship! :)

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  25. Step away from the cash register, and no one gets hurt! That is a funny story, ECL!

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  26. Wow .. you are really bloging about Hell! Suddenly, you comment at my site makes so much sense!

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  27. if you buy the lap top for them, do you also have to buy them original Vista or ask them to get pirated one on their own... kekekekeke

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  28. I think there has to be a lot of laptops in hell, there is plenty software for them. Just have a look at Internet Explorer, if that doesn't come straight from hell I do not know.

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  29. This is a post that is entertaining and amusing, with a good sense of humour.

    It looks like an interesting shopping trip.

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  30. amazing practice really...i learned something new today.

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  31. suituapui,
    I bought my grandpa a mobile lah. But pray he doesn't call me. hehe.....

    He can give 4D numbers to my Dad who can then give to me. :)

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  32. farah,
    I got a Mercedes custom made for my grandpa in March. The latest model and if I want any other make of car, they can do it! Amazing!

    Macam main masak-masak. haha...

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  33. Mary the teach,
    My Dad is cute and he's getting a little senile, acting like a kid sometimes. :)

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  34. grandy,
    Yeh, I don't want to even see a cash register these days! haha....

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  35. wilfrid,
    haha.... you thought I was babbling nonsense with my comments.

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  36. big bright head,
    You know.... they got everything in a package!! No need to go for pirated software and so cheap! hahaha.....

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  37. hahaha sailor,
    You're so humorous! Yah, I agree with you. IE is from Hell!

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  38. oceanskies,
    haha... yes, it was an interesting and fun trip. My Dad seldom goes shopping and he's fascinated by lots of hi-tech stuff.

    He's trying to learn modern technology from Jaymes. ha, the cute odd couple.

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  39. Hi girlie,
    It is amazing, especially to those who hear it for the first time. :)

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  40. These people are really innovative to have come up with all these items, isn't it? Though it's not really that expensive, it does add up to quite a bit.

    Do they have iPhones as well? :p

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  41. At least you send something useful to hell and not like me, some people !
    The Queen was out with Philip for once he wasn't busy with a girlfriend, so she had no time for me !!

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  42. ck,
    Innovative indeed. I was looking for iPhones too, the shopkeeper said,"Not released yet!" Wahhh! The dead in hell also very up-to-date! hehe....

    I spent quite a lot after adding the purchases up!! 3 figures for folded paper!

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  43. gattina,
    hahaha... I hope the gifts are useful and not bring my ancestors trouble.

    Oooo... the Queen and Philip were having their own private moment. :P

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  44. Why no iPhone? ROFLMAO! Can surf Facebook you know?

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  45. LOL! Now that I'm living in foreign land of Europe... I cannot got out without my documents one of this is my "passport"...my WS post is up too... and I hope you can help me! I was nominated for Pinoyworld blog of the week. Hope you can vote at http://www.pinoyworld.org/

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  46. ECL! You make is sound so hilarous.. how NOT to laugh.. eh all these items made from paper is it?? So nice and pretty!!

    Can buy and just keep or not?? or is that considered bad luck??

    Curious only lah..heheh

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  47. wow ... the stuffs look so pretty! am sure your ancestors are mighty glad to receive them! :)

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  48. Ed,
    iPhone not released YET!! They also quite up-to-date, you know. :)

    Probably negotiating the rights in Hell. haha....

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  49. prettylifeonline,
    Humans need passports to travel from country to country, but spirits need passport too..... that is incredible.
    hehe...

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  50. LadyJava,
    Got more pretty folded paper products in the shop! The LV bags are so awesome!

    Suppose to burn them to the spirits. Don't keep them lah, bad luck. :P

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  51. maiylah,
    Yes, they would be delighted to receive these pretty stuff. haha....

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  52. ya, there are variety of replicas in the market nowadays

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  53. Those are wonderful stuff to get for your ancestors. I got to shop for my late brother too !!

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  54. lol! i didnt know there are travel documents as well! it's amazing what they can come out with. And even malaysia airtickets? lol!

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  55. nowadays really many interesting things can be bought and burnt for the dead.

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  56. He he I'm fascinated too! When u mentioned the c.cards previously, I was oredi..what? But the Mas ticket is the ultimate la! Classy! :)

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  57. Oh dear, your father is so worried. Don't worry, there should be airport terminal in Hades so shouldn't be a problem to travel to Beijing for the Olympics. Just hope they managed to get tixs though.

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  58. Hazel,
    Yes indeed there are and very well made! :)

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  59. Janice,
    Those are some of the stuff that my Dad wanted for his late parents. I wonder what you got for your brother? :)

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  60. Jean,
    Amazing what they could think of! Enterprising businessmen. :) I laughed when I saw the Malaysian Airline tickets too.

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  61. Leonard,
    Right, you name it, they have it. Can custom make some more leh. :P

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  62. Mariuca,
    Seriously, I'm surprised at how Hell has progressed! hehe...

    It's following the trends of the human world and turning into a modern and global world too! ha!

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  63. PuNiao,
    haha.... I doubt my grandparents want to be squeezed watching Beijing Olympics. Beijing is very crowded right now. :)

    People and spirits from all over the world gather to watch the Olympics! muahahaha....

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  64. ye lah ECL, really like masak2 only, it's interesting and it's the culture right? Can't imagine how more modern these things can be in years to come! and I dont wanna think abt it too,scary. hahahahahah

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  65. I hope you're not giving them polyester or nylon shirts like the price suggests! I would be rather disappointed if I was dead and was offered a non-natural fibre to wear. I might have to come over to get something nicer from your closet... But since you're giving them cheques, I'm sure they can find their own way to the silk shops... On their holiday to a country that doesn't produce silk. Now there's a scary thought!

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  66. Farah,
    Yep... it's a Chinese tradition to offer or send stuff to their ancestors.

    I can't wait to see how this sunset industry will become in 10 years' time. I hope it can still survive the modern times.

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  67. Sebastyne,
    It's made of paper. *shock* :P

    Gosh.... don't come rummaging through my closet! There's nothing you can wear!

    I hope they wouldn't make me a bankrupt with their new found happiness! *worries*

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  68. Amusing - esp the last bit :-) Very informative n learned something new. My family never did such elaborate offerings. We remember them in prayers, in church.

    Dutchie

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  69. Hi Dutchie,
    This is a Chinese culture which is slowly losing its significance and existence. :)

    My ancestors are not Christians so I can't pray for them in church.

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