Monday, November 12, 2007

What!? Are you selling your daughter? Try robbing a bank!

My Indonesian friend flew in from Jakarta on Saturday. She asked me to accompany her to meet her future daughter-in-law and her parents. Actually they were going to discuss about their children's wedding and the dowry. My Indonesian friend is not familiar with the Chinese customs in Singapore, so she asked me to help.

Well..... when you get Ecl to help, it could be either good or it's a disaster. hahaha....

We met in the private room of an expensive Chinese restaurant, my friend with her son and I, and the girl with her parents. After some niceties and food, we got down to business.

That's when the girl's mother brought out several long lists. Wow! She came prepared. And very well prepared, I would say. She had done her calculations with her abacus homework!

The Demands from the girl's Mother

50 tables for the wedding banquet at THE 6-star hotel. Must have Suckling Pig, Sharks' Fin soup and Abalone on the dinner menu or else so malu (embarrass). That's going to cost about S$1,000 per table.

The full Hokkien (a dialect group in Singapore) customary wedding ceremony.

S$50,000 cash for the dowry.

Wedding Gift Hamper for their 84-year-old grandmother. A list of items.

A set of diamond jewellery (earrings, necklace, ring).

21-day Honeymoon in 7 European countries (Colourful brochure, tour itinerary and price presented.)

3 rooms at the 6-star hotel in Singapore on the wedding night for their family.

Air tickets and hotel accommodation for 36 members of the family to the wedding held in Jakarta.

A suckling pig on the 3rd day her daughter returns to her Mom's house...........


As she read out her demand, enthusiastically spitting saliva all over the list, my eyebrows went higher until they almost disappeared into my hairline. My regal friend was clearly alarmed and looked helplessly at me.

This is preposterous! Wei.... hello Aunty!! Knock knock!

"Are you selling your daughter?" I asked, looking her in the eye. My friend grabbed my arm to stop me. There was a brief incredulous silence and the woman's smiling face dropped. My character is such that I couldn't control myself when I see such unfair stuff happening.

"Who are you? It's none of your business. This is my daughter's and her son's wedding." she retorted, obviously she wasn't expecting any resistant from my gentle friend and her son.

"It is now my business because I'm part of their family. Your daughter has to serve me tea too because Iwan calls me Mummy. And as a Singaporean, you are a great embarrassment! you think they print money ah!? They are rich but they don't deserve to be fleeced. What big business do you do to justify 500 guests at a 6-star hotel? You intend to invite how many blocks of residents from your Bukit Batok neighbourhood? Or your husband is inviting all his taxi-driver colleagues? S$50,000 for dowry? Why don't you try robbing a bank?" (Wah! You should hear me say this in Mandarin! hahaha...... )

"Wah! So you all rich people can bully us ah!? He made my daughter pregnant....."

Thunder. Lightning. I rolled up my sleeves and stood up.............

================= ooOoo =================

Trouble! Trouble!

The girl slit her wrist. Chaos. Messy.

Don't orh (blame) me, not my fault. There was no intended wedding in the first place. sigh....

................./ to be continued............


  1. LOL. You should have recorded your mandarin speech and put it up here as podcast ;p Would love to heart it! haha...

    I look forward to the sequel! She argued that he made her daughter pregnant......

  2. Moral of the story: Read the expiry date on the condoms?

  3. Wow..!! very "hiong" . .that woman with daughter..! like dat also can ka..??

  4. my god! *faint* She is selling the daughter and robbing the bank at the same time! Unbelieveable! Her daughter is made of gold is it?

  5. narrowband,
    Yalor. I din expect it to turn out liddat mah, so din think of recording the conversation.

    Yes, her daughter's pregnant......

  6. lb,
    Apa lah!? There are many morals to this story. Tomorrow ok? hehe.....

  7. mama bok,
    Yah, second time I see this type of person.

    First time was at my younger brother's meeting for his wedding discussion. I almost flipped the whole table over! hahaha.....

  8. Doreen,
    Yalor. She thought she struck lottery! It's blackmail. Too bad she met me. haha.....

  9. O.o

    *jaw drops*

    Wah.... this really gives Singaporeans a bad name wor!

    But I wished that you recorded wud've been real drama!!!! Cannot wait for Part 2 fast ok?

    ha ha ha..laffs at "bukit batok flats" comment...

  10. Nice to see ECL take action! Kick her butt, kick her butt!!!

    You are becoming some what of a superhero ECL!

    What don't you do!!?

  11. Hahaha! My good friend from KL also kena a similar situation when he wanted to marry an Indonesian chinese girl.
    The demands were simply outrageous! So it was 'no go'.

    Her daughter preggie ah? Too bad Iwan kena trapped.

    Moral of the story: Next time settle for blowjob enough liao! LOL

  12. mott,
    I didn't expect such thing to happen mah, but got take photos. Before the showdown lah!

    Very very tempted to upload the photo so all can see the faces of these people!

  13. Mike,
    This is not heroism. I believe any sensible person would have done the same thing in my place.

    Just because the other party is rich, doesn't mean any one can take advantage of them. And for the rich, they shouldn't take advantage of the poor too.

  14. cocka,
    Wah! You should hear what the China girls want!!!

    No, Iwan doesn't have to be trapped. Mummy Ecl is here to save him. hahaha......

    Uncle Cocka, you teach the wrong thing lah! Can still go all the way but must take precaution!

  15. ECL rolled up sleeves and stood up..
    wonder what will her next action be?
    awaiting for part 2 ;)

  16. chen,
    Ok... open table.... let's bet.

    Guess what did Ecl do next. lai ah! lai ah! Place your bets ah! Buy already, hands off ah!

  17. 500 guests? Ridiculuos, she intends to invite all the Ah Mau and Ah Kau and etc ect...

    Robbing a bank might be easier ;)

    Can't wait for the part 2 of the story.

  18. This is absurd.

    I wonder do some people really have such cheek so ask so much from the other party and be so thick skinned!

    50 tables is way more than enough! Yeah you're right to tell them off!

    Initially, they didn't want to be Malu, and now they made themselves so malu by asking so much .

    I don't know whether to snigger or chuckle silently to myself.

  19. Waaaaa... sure think all Indonesians rich until money flowing out of the ears lah!!

    So...really one ar? What you said? As in Bukit Batok neighbourhood and taxi driver friends? Or you simple hantam one?

    The daughter pregnant because she want to ENTRAP him to get the BIG dowry is it???

    Quik. the rest of the story.

  20. Wah so chih kek ler, faster write part two i wanna know how it turn out!!

  21. Wow! She is definitely selling her daughter! Anyway, you friend is in the upper hand what... The girl is pregnant! So the mother should be more worried whether will he marry her or not..

  22. Lol.

    Her girl getting pregnant and she's asking for that much?

    She's out to make herself rich and let her girl suffer with her in-laws.

  23. As much as she assume your friend is the 'nice MIL' type, still her kid is gonna get all the insults from their relatives.

  24. Next time, I also wanna invite ECL for any negotiation :P

  25. huarrrrrr... good ending anot? how many cows and chickens included in the dowry in the end? faster tell!

  26. Poor Iwan and his mom. Luckily, u were there.

    Eh, dun tell me it's a fake pregnancy. Did anyone ask for a prove that she is pregnant?

  27. Please teach me how to say that in Mandarin.
    *holds breath for sequel*

  28. =O I never knew such things still go on.
    It's ridiculous, no shame.
    But the way you write it, hilarious. And suspense! Haha. =D

  29. OMG so dramatic~!

    Awaiting the next instalment~

  30. dun marry lor.. see later the tummy big big who is on the losing end :P

  31. Errrrhhhh hate these kind of people!!! *give some big hard slaps on their faces*

  32. hahahahahaha! yeah, u so shud record it! :P but really, that's too much lor. millions ler!!

  33. omg ECL next time would u help liucas to get dowry from ahboy? he wants 500 pax also for his paws friends, and 500 packs pedigree biscuit sharkfin really flavour!

    aiyo that long list is really too much la. faster tell what happened next! cant wait leh

    oh wait did u tell him the bridegroom side wanna demand 50packs condoms? :p

  34. hehehhe fanny read, and I was thinking: next time I'll get married, I'll ask ECL for help LoL

  35. Very interesting, very scary and very money face!

    So, how is the girl? Why she goes and do such a silly thing?

    Sometimes we need people like you to speak your mind when it comes to extortion! But, please never ever tell me off if you angry with me ok, I will cry straight away! :)

  36. OMG! But I have heard of stories like that too!Quick post sequel.

  37. Geeez...I actually hate most of the customary practices of the traditional chinese wedding! Nightmares, man :(

  38. ECL - it is a ture story? Her list is really ridiculous!

    By the way, I really think it wasn't totally the guy's fault. She should also take the responsibility! Nobody point a gun at her to have sex with him. Also, she should think of the consequences when she did it...

  39. Wait wait..I thought Dowry was the gift from the bride to the husband???How come it seems to be the other way round??

    Hai..looks like your boy was too sexcited and got more than he bargained for..but seriously..6 star hotel? 21 day honeymoon in 7 different european countries..what planet have they been living on?

    hai condoms condoms condoms you so much trouble (not that I have ever tried) still very innocent :D